three hundred ninety two

VOCABULARY WORD OF THE DAY


CRESTFALLEN
I recently helped a friend move along with several others. Since then they have purchased a new home and need to move again. I offered to help but he said this time they were hiring movers. 

At first I wondered if they thought we were bad movers but he says he doesn't want to take advantage. Well that's his story and he's stickin' to it.

I was texting one of the other volunteer movers and told him they were hiring movers so we were off of the hook. He said he felt crestfallen because we were not asked.

After I googled crestfallen I thought about giving him the beans. I wanted to heap scorn on, deride, lampoon and pillory him for using such an ostentatious, hyperventilated and fancy-pants term but I just laughed and learned a new word.

I am by no means a scrabble champion, I'm lucky to order food from a drive through (I use the numbers). However I am charmed to be in league with such an enlightened fidus Achate.

I do think he may be an alien or time traveler. He is un-naturally tall, has no apparent vices and I don't think he blinks or sweats. 

three hundred ninety one

 THE ART OF DIVERTING RESPONSIBILITY

People who are brave enough to make decisions are becoming rare but politicians who make brave decisions are almost extinct.  

Polling, focus groups, strategists and media experts massage the message focusing exclusively on the political ramifications and benefits. Sadly this is the natural state of politics today. 

The camera hogs, political hit men and media whores shape every word, facial expression, body language, hair style, fashion choice and mirror tested smiles. They wear glasses to look smart, deliver prepared pompous speeches and have their quiver full of snark filled talking points. If by chance they are put on the spot and asked an actual question they answer with condescending snarky insults, empty word salad fluff, meandering filibuster or simply run away.

Politicians call themselves experts and leaders but very few are actually experts and never actually lead. If they are forced to vote on a controversial piece of legislation their main concern is their own reelection. 

I understand votes take a certain amount of wheeling and dealing and compromise but voting in the interest of their constituents rarely takes precedent. 

The so called representatives of "the people" consider their constituents only at election time. Senators with six year terms focus on the needs of their states in the last year of their terms. The first five years they can play on a national stage ignoring or even hurting their own state. They simply bring money for a federal bridge, building or highway project then name it after themselves and they are good for another six years.

Representatives with two year terms have to be more crafty. They need to rely on money from their party and donors so their votes reflect the interests of these sources of campaign money not the people they represent. 

The rare statesman usually has a short career because they don't play the game. Their ability to survive the sound bite world, avoid the wrath of the media and raising large amounts of money is not the major focus of a statesman. Because a charismatic person can navigate the political gauntlet doesn't make them any more equipped to lead a country, they are simply good at winning and election. In fact in my opinion this detracts from any chance they will make wise or well thought out decisions.

If by chance they do make a decision they are prepared for only two responses. Brag and take a victory lap if it can be twisted and framed as a success or blame the failure on their opponents because of their lack of support, usually money. 

Taking responsibility can be political death because a vote will put them on the spot. We may or may not vote them out at the next election so this one is partially on us. 

Omnibus bills are the latest tactic. Cram a bill full of pork and bad law then cover it all with a caring name and call it a crisis. We have lost all sense of fair play, winning and all cost is becoming the norm. Actual governing has turned into a bullying no holds bared power grab. The gloves and masks are off.

Some have abandoned any sense of honor. They view fair play as weakness, the rule of law as a weapon and free speech a one way street. 

The courts, law enforcement, prosecutors, censorship and propaganda rule the day. The attitude of I know it is wrong but it will take time for the courts to rule on it. Buy the time they do we can blame the courts and our opposition for not caring and overturning established law. 

The educational system, entertainment and media have created an entitled uneducated dependent class. Curiosity about issues and  history are frowned on. Critical independent thinking or having a different opinion can now get you banned, fired and imprisoned. Quoting the Constitution, expressing a religious view or owning a fire arm means you are a bad person or worse.  

Separating people is a well thought out strategy, Mao did it with class warfare we are doing it with race and gender warfare. History may soon repeat itself if it hasn't already. 


I'm not some genius I just see what is right in front of me. It may not be what is being said out loud but with a minimal understanding of human nature and history it is clear as a bell. Once you see it it can't be unseen.

The hunger to hate other people and see bad things happen to them feeds a base human desire. People they disagree with are not viewed as people with bad ideas they are viewed as bad people. 


Public shaming for not parroting the party propaganda has been replaced with political correctness, approved opinions and never questioning government approved science and intellectual authority.

The greatest offense is simply being identified as a perpetrator. This can be determined by class, race, sex or economic status. No matter how many generations have passed, how much progress has been made or how hard a person sacrifices and works, they can not change their perpetrator status. 


On the other hand victim status gives the right to do just about anything to a perpetrator. All hatred, violence, cruelty, shame, abuse, loss of profession, rights, imprisonment, torture and death are justified. We can see this more and more each day. The steady erosion of our basic Constitutional rights, personal responsibility, freedom of speech and free will is alarming. 

Our entertainment media now portrays the perpetrator class as the bad guys. They have southern accents, work blue collar fossil fuel jobs, own firearms, hunt, attend church, display American flags, quote the Constitution and serve in the military.

The one positive is they are saying it out loud and the mask is off. They openly blame others for the hate, lies, violence and bigotry but with any level of common sense anyone can clearly see the hypocrisy. Willful blindness is hard to maintain, it is like keeping a room completely dark in the middle of the day, one tiny spot of light illuminates the room.

Free speech is like that light, a small speck of truth can illuminate a million lies. Beware of those who want to limit speech. 

Now the question is........


It is crunch time, politicians won't save us, violence won't save us and that special charismatic leader won't save us. 
The only thing that can save us is an awake, engaged and informed population. It starts and ends with us. It is just as wrong to divert this responsibility to others as a blowhard politician. Until enough of us pick up this responsibility nothing will change......Wake up!

three hundred ninety


TIS THE SEASON FOR THE NEIGHBORS TO LET SANTA THROW UP ON THEIR LAWN

We have a tree and a few decorations inside but outside we look like Scrooge. We don't have family visiting or many local friends so the holidays can be a downer if we let it. 

Our neighbors have the Christmas spirit and children to make it worth while to decorate. Several have these new amazing blow up decorations. We totally enjoy the night time hear but through the day it looks like a Chicago crime scene or the Jonestown massacre.


I'm not complaining because it is right up my morbid sense of humor alley.


It's like Santa ran into the wrong gun owner. I always thought sneaking around living rooms in the middle of the night would eventually get him into trouble.


Looks like Dancer and Prancer got caught in a cross fire. I know it is a twisted observation but that is my way of having holiday fun. 

three hundred eighty nine

 


GOATS MAKE ME LAUGH



We spent Thanks Giving near Salem Oregon on a small farm. The accommodations were large enough for a large family so we had plenty of room. 


The space was the entire loft of the barn. It was fun watching the birds  learn to fly around such a large space. In fact they were intimidated for the first day but they soon enjoyed the top of the curtains.





We were only a few miles from McMinnville Oregon so groceries and restaurants were close by. The chicken, cows, horses, sheep, two yacks a donkey and two hilarious goats. 

The family invited us for dinner with their five children. The meal was great and the pies were awesome.


The farm is a money pit even though they sell whole unpasteurized milk products. The husband is a tech guy with what I assume a good income. At best between the rental and minimal milk sales they break even. 

The young couple love their work of which there is plenty. Up early moving stock, cleaning stalls, milking cows and feeding live stock brought back memories. We will return in the spring to see new pigs sheep and baby goats. I want to milk a yack just to say I did.


three hundred eighty eight

LIKE A SCENE FROM BETTER CALL SAUL




Recently I joined the local gym. I haven't used the equipment yet because I haven't found a quiet time. I have only use the sauna. After my home workout on my bench with ankle weights and dumbbells I try to walk ten miles weather permitting. 

Central Oregon is not over cast like Portland or Seattle. The mountains toward the coast block the weather fronts. It rains on the coast then when the fronts hit the mountains they turn to snow. The bulk of the snows hit the mountains and dissipate before they hit the high desert. We get winter temperatures and ice but the snowfall is usually light.

Even though the temperatures are well below freezing the outdoor food courts are open the year around. They have fire pits, locally brewed beer and food trucks. The 26 local marijuana  dispensaries supply the pot. I can tell people are baked but I rarely smell the smoke, I assume there is some new way to use it to get around smoking restrictions. No one is overly drunk or stoned, perhaps they have mastered the art of moderation, something foreign to me.

The gym is full of hard bodied young people, well young to me. I feel like a fat old guy but I can't see myself in the pool......yet. 

I love the bone warming heat and love to sweat. I hold my own in the secret contest no-one talks about but every guy plays. Grown men, like little boys turn everything into a competition so staying in longer than the next guy is very important. As we quietly take a break to get our heart beats back in the normal range we collectively watch the water aerobics class. 

There are 20-30 seniors in the class that lasts an hour so we all secretly know someone is peeing in the pool. I am just the guy who says it out loud. 

A small room full of sweating people without cell phones is very interesting. No-one usually talks, some meditate, some struggle with the heat but there is always that one man or woman who does erotic stretches. One young woman taunts the young guys with flirtatious stripper poses. As one of the "safe older guys" she feels free to have a conversation. Her youth makes me realize I am one of the safe old guys.

My body sweats buckets and my mind races. I try to hold back every wise ass comment that pops into my mind, but I do occasionally throw one out there. One day I asked the question; "why do men have nipples?" What an interesting day, I was surprised how much people have thought about this topic, who knew?

It is neutral ground. With only swimsuits our bodies are no secret. If we are out of shape it shows and if we are in shape it shows. Piercings, tattoos, hair and no hair are visible. No one sees your car, knows where you live, what you do for a living, anything about you politics or social status, just a room full of men and women sweating.

Occasionally people who know each other talk. One day a man was talking about his disappointment with his daughter because she was engaged to a man in retail. Others talk about their jobs from doctor to ditch digger. Occasionally a homeless guy buys a seven dollar day pass to get clean and warm.

I don't wear my glasses so I can't remember faces. I had a young woman call me by name and introduce me to her husband. Evidently we had had a meaningful conversation somewhere but I could not figure out who she was. If you do wear glasses in the sauna you look a little creepy. 

All in all I am enjoying this experience for the health benefits and interaction with strangers in a very unique setting. I may soon be one of the water aerobics club but I promise I'll try not to pee in the pool.

three hundred eight seven

 IN THIS WORLD THERE ARE TALKERS AND THERE ARE DOERS.


I was born and raised in Ohio and somehow have an internal sense of midwest values. Many of these values were formally taught in school and Sunday school but many were in the air or water. I assume it was simply how the people around me were living their everyday lives. 

Keeping an appointment, telling the truth, doing the right thing when no one is looking and playing by the rules were behaviors that were expected. A person was judged by his or her word. All other factors were of less concern, race, sex, who you love, age, education, social and economic status. What really mattered was the value of your word. 

If you gave your word it meant something. Once we gave it we would go to any lengths to keep it. Our self-esteem, sense of honor and reputation would hinge on keeping our word at all cost. This wasn't only for the big things but for everything. 

It was an internal thing not an enforced thing. The community didn't punish a person for breaking their word, people felt a personal shame for failure. There was a standard of behavior we were all aware of so falling short or not following through mattered.

Children born out of wedlock were accepted by the community but all parties knew it wasn't right. The father usually came forward to take responsibility and the family accepted and loved the child. No scarlet letters or shunning but an awareness and encouragement to do better.

Even a misspent youth, addiction, criminal or moral past can be overcome by positive actions. Talking has little or no effect. 

The idea that the midwest is more judgmental and unaccepting doesn't fit my experience. Sure there were narrow-minded judgmental people and people who could care less about honor but the community as a whole lived by these values. 

I moved to the southwest and later to the Bay Area and found a new definition of acceptance. To be considered accepting required ignoring personal responsibility and abandoning common sense. Everything is relative, rules and laws are optional depending on the situation. Honor was an old fashioned concept and nothing is actually wrong.

I first noticed this in business and later in social settings. Appointments were optional and handshake agreements were nonexistent. Being cool was breaking social norms, mocking religion and belittling midwest values. Ironically they wondered why society is so screwed up.

Individual responsibility is no longer valued or taken seriously. I'm by no means a shining example of honor but I an at least aware when I fall short.

Showing up and following through are important to me. I expect people to keep promises, appointments and responsibilities. If I expect this from others I must expect it from myself. I have boiled this down to a basic question, are you a talker or a doer?

Measure what you promise, over promising sounds good in the moment but not following through damages your reputation. It is simple if you can't or don't want to do something don't say you will. 

Expect follow through from others. If they follow through you don't have to punish them but don't let it slide, express your disappointment. Then they know it is important to you.

I believe this needs to be brought back into focus. No I don't want to police or punish this but rationalizing it away has obviously not helped. 

We have changed the rules from obeying that small voice that tells us it is wrong when we are alone to if no-one catches or sees us it is okay. This has grown to include even if we are caught we are a victim of circumstances or dismissing the normal standards all together. 

Taking an oath, keeping a promise, showing up for an appointment, paying a debt, telling the truth and not stealing need to be valid by society again. I realize I'm older and this might sound old fashioned but these basic values need a renewal.

I don't blame young people, they grew up with these new distorted standards. The few I have talked with seem to be interested because it is like a new refreshing concept. I have hope the pendulum will return to some midwest standards.

Like I said I have failed many times both with large and small things but I am striving to do better. Falling into the mindset that this is okay is a danger so the guilt I feel is a sign I am aware of my short comings. I measure my promises today but once they are made I bend over backward to keep them. 

three hundred eighty six


IF YOU TATTOO WORDS ON YOUR NECK AND FACE, DON'T GET PISSED OFF WHEN I TRY TO READ THEM.





As I was standing in line at our local Costco pharmacy, I noticed the man standing in front of me was covered with tattoos. He had paragraphs of what I assumed were important statements. Important enough to wear on his skin for the rest of his life. They were positioned in places that were intended for the onlooker to read, especially the ones on his face and neck. 

The line was long and I had nothing to do so I started to read them. At first it felt awkward but I assumed thats why they were on display. I wasn't reading out loud or standing too close but he copped an attitude. With attitude he asked me "What the fuck are you looking at?" I answered, "I was reading your tattoos". He said "Mind your own fucking business". I didn't think it was a good time to point out a miss spelling so I decided to disengage.

Since then I have asked myself the question, why do they go through the expense and discomfort to wear these profound words on their skin if they don't want anyone to read them? Tattoos are the last true form of art, no middle man. A one on one transaction between the artist and the canvas. Many tattoos are meaningful especially the ones with words.

Another time I noticed a man with several paragraphs written on his arms, back and chest. After my Costco experience I thought I would take a different approach and asked him if he minded if I read his tattoos. I may as well have asked to see his penis. He was offended that I had asked such a rude question.

I'm confused why do you write this stuff in places you can't see yourself then get angry if someone shows an interest in reading it. 

People are weird.......






three hundred eighty five

 WHAT REALLY MATTERS?

We have been binge watching the 2000-2005 TV series Six Feet Under, it is now streaming on Netflix. The off beat series is based on a family owned funeral home business

After the sudden death of the patriarch owner the family struggles to continue the business and navigate their own self centered lives. Every character is a moral, emotional and mental mess but the story lines are thought provoking. 

Each episode begins with the scene of an untimely death or two. The day to day business of dealing with the grieving families, selling their services, arranging transportation, selling caskets, embalming and restoring the body, flowers and funeral service weaves between the endless flow of family drama. There are plenty of scenes interacting with the dead person and dream sequences that can be a bit confusing but they do explore some deep questions about life and death.

Like I said, every family member is a really screwed up narcissist. They continuously analyze every introverted feeling, verbalize every emotional tantrum and act on every sexual impulse. They occasionally mock uptight religious people while crossing every moral line then wonder why their lives are so screwed up, but that just reveals the bias of the writers.

I enjoy the thought provoking look into the grieving family and friends. Death is the elephant in the room, we feel uncomfortable talking about it but we all think about it much more then we will admit.

I watched the series when it first came out but this time I see that the writers, in spite of their bias explore some deep questions about what matters and doesn't matter.

Personally we are in a different place in our lives, dealing with age and illness. This is not new to us, life has been uncertain for many years. I overthink things, but you would know that if you have read my blog so you know pondering the meaning of life isn't new to me. Riding a bike for several months while meandering thousands of miles will do that to you.

What matters more each day is how fully I live not how long I live. I do have a wondering eye and still long to see what is over the horizon and around the corner and I hope that it will never go away. People and how close I can get to them is what matters now. 

I have wasted far too much time and energy trying to avoid the inconvenience of people and have left only a very few in. The risk of being hurt will always be there but the rewards of fully loving someone is all that really matters. 

I have traveled, lived in amazing places, had mind blowing experiences and felt danger, heartache and exhilaration, but reaching over in the middle of the night to feel that one person that knows all of my secrets, fears and faults is what matters.

We seem to wait too long to value this, most wait until it is too late and it is gone. Thank God I have realized to value the people around me before they are gone. Illness and age will eventually take us all so cherish what you have right now in this moment because this is all that really matters. 

three hundred eighty four


ONCE UPON A TIME ASKING QUESTIONS WAS A GOOD THING...




















2 Timothy 4:3-4 

"For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths."


three hundred eighty four

I STAND WITH ISRAEL


We visited Israel last year, what a beautiful country. The people were welcoming and busy with life. We ate lunch at a Kibbutz overlooking the Sea of Galilee. It was filled with young families and lots and lots of children. 

The old city was guarded by very sober young Israeli soldiers. They were all business never looking anyone in the eye but constantly scanning the area and body movements. The seriousness may seem odd to a westerner but the events of today explains why.

My heart aches for the victims of these unspeakable crimes. My anger burns with hatred for the evil ones who have done such horror. 

As usual the press will use it power to slowly twist and turn the blame back on Israel. I think I have been clear about my contempt for much of the American media. 

Perhaps this event will finally open a few eyes and minds to their complicity in this hatred for the state of Israel and the Jewish people. They craft their words to sound reasonable but they are designed to hide their real motives. These events may be too much to hide but they will certainly try.

God bless the people of Israel.