"THE BUCK STOPS HERE".....what a load of crap.
I'm really an expert at creating elaborate believable excuses. I have for many years perfected my skills to create complex, dramatic and convincing excuses. I'm so good at this I have at times convinced myself.
Fortunately I have been saved from a career in politics. I have an intact conscience that I occasionally listen to. The ability to look people in the eye and cast blame on everyone else while simultaneously claiming to be the only person of character who takes responsibility, this should be the definition of a sociopath.
They say things like, The buck stops with me, but the opposing party did it. It's like a school boy saying, I know I had an assignment but the dog ate my homework. They look and sound respectful but they are rarely challenged by a lazy and fawning press. Instead we give them our money and votes then call them Congressman, Senator or President. Their only real talent is the art of blame and excuses. Elected officials are in a league all their own.
I'm just a garden variety sober drunk. In my active disease I used excuses to protect and hide my secrets. I sometimes think about the elaborate tails I told the people around me. This went on for decades until I had no idea what was true.
I have found it much easier just to do whatever it is I said I would do. Do what you say and say what you will do, what a simple concept. I know now people saw through me because my memory has never been good enough to keep my lies or excuses straight.
One thing I have not done is claim the same relative has died two or three times, but I know I would have done it eventually.
Sometimes there are reasons that we can't complete a task or make an appointment but I have been amazed how if I really give my full effort I can complete the vast majority of my tasks.
The principles of AA have had an influence on this behavior. My friends in the rooms are excuse experts too who will call me out for passing the buck or relying on excuses.
There was one special person in my life that early on set the standard for our friendship. It started by making a commitment then changing my mind. I didn't even waste an excuse on it I tried to sell it with my boyish charm. Needless to say it did not work.
I was shocked because what had always worked did not work on this person. I was told point blank if you say you will do something I expect you to do it. I cared enough about this person from that day forward I was committed to following through on what I said. Sounds simple and I'm sure someone had said it before, but the clarity and directness broke through and changed my life.
I hate others giving me excuses almost as much as I hate hearing myself give them. I would rather hear I accept responsibility and this is my plan so this will not happen again. That is what I like hearing but I only want to hear it once.
