two hundred seventy two

IN THE CHAOS OF THE BIKE LANE I FIND SERENITY

Growing up in the 50's and 60's I was never actually diagnosed with ADHD, Dyslexia or Autism. In those days these were called stupid, lazy and behavior problems. 

Over the years I now suspect one or all of these may have been what limited me. When I was in school my inability to focus, do quick math and read aloud was very humiliating and was probably the cause of many of my bad choices and under achievement. 

I believe our life experiences shape us both good and bad. We all have things that have handicapped us but I only know what I personally had to overcome.

The lack of focus best describes my most elusive issue. I won't call it a handicap and won't declare myself a victim, my brain and body just works in a different way. My most difficult struggle was finding a place where my brain and body operates the best.

To most people this is serenity, breath taking scenery, peaceful calm wind and water and tranquil quiet. 

I can only take a little of this. My mind begins to analyze the depth of the lake, how many fish are in it, who built the dock and where is the boat, what do trees taste like, does eagle poop reach terminal velocity and what would happen if gravity stops working? 

Before long I would be pacing around the dock in circles or skinny dipping. This environment can drive me crazy. I can see it for a few amazing minutes then I have to move. 

My old business card illustrates one place I personally have found what I call serenity. The website and business no longer exists but it was based on the principle used for centuries of swaddling cranky babies. Over decades of experimenting I discovered this also works on cranky adults. It is forced meditation combining sensory deprivation, compression an immobilization. 

Ask yourself if you can be still without expending energy or do you need some outside force to keep you still? I may in the future do a more in-depth post about this business. One hint is I am not able to be still without help.

The chaos of the bike lane is another place I find this serenity. It is a dangerous place with unpredictable hazards and multi ton vehicles passing within feet. Because the danger is a matter of life and death (my death) my mind must focus on the environment around me. Over the decades I have learned to be calm and find a soothing and relaxing place for my mind and body. 

Strangely, even though my mind is occupied with this chaos my thoughts are clear and focused on other issues. My body is revved up but I am in control and calm. I read the traffic and monitor my tires. My path ahead is scanned for any possible hazards. It becomes so second nature I rarely think about it. I am what they call in the zone.   

Even when the weather kicks in I can feel every thing. My "spidie" sense kicks in and I feel the traffic behind me even if I don't first see them in my mirrors. Mile after mile of this I am so focused it is difficult to talk when I stop at a store or coffee shop. 

 I'm sure my brain is flooded with dopamine, which may have a lot to do with it. All I know is this wide angle, high definition and high fidelity focus is where I love to be.