three hundred eighty five

 WHAT REALLY MATTERS?

We have been binge watching the 2000-2005 TV series Six Feet Under, it is now streaming on Netflix. The off beat series is based on a family owned funeral home business

After the sudden death of the patriarch owner the family struggles to continue the business and navigate their own self centered lives. Every character is a moral, emotional and mental mess but the story lines are thought provoking. 

Each episode begins with the scene of an untimely death or two. The day to day business of dealing with the grieving families, selling their services, arranging transportation, selling caskets, embalming and restoring the body, flowers and funeral service weaves between the endless flow of family drama. There are plenty of scenes interacting with the dead person and dream sequences that can be a bit confusing but they do explore some deep questions about life and death.

Like I said, every family member is a really screwed up narcissist. They continuously analyze every introverted feeling, verbalize every emotional tantrum and act on every sexual impulse. They occasionally mock uptight religious people while crossing every moral line then wonder why their lives are so screwed up, but that just reveals the bias of the writers.

I enjoy the thought provoking look into the grieving family and friends. Death is the elephant in the room, we feel uncomfortable talking about it but we all think about it much more then we will admit.

I watched the series when it first came out but this time I see that the writers, in spite of their bias explore some deep questions about what matters and doesn't matter.

Personally we are in a different place in our lives, dealing with age and illness. This is not new to us, life has been uncertain for many years. I overthink things, but you would know that if you have read my blog so you know pondering the meaning of life isn't new to me. Riding a bike for several months while meandering thousands of miles will do that to you.

What matters more each day is how fully I live not how long I live. I do have a wondering eye and still long to see what is over the horizon and around the corner and I hope that it will never go away. People and how close I can get to them is what matters now. 

I have wasted far too much time and energy trying to avoid the inconvenience of people and have left only a very few in. The risk of being hurt will always be there but the rewards of fully loving someone is all that really matters. 

I have traveled, lived in amazing places, had mind blowing experiences and felt danger, heartache and exhilaration, but reaching over in the middle of the night to feel that one person that knows all of my secrets, fears and faults is what matters.

We seem to wait too long to value this, most wait until it is too late and it is gone. Thank God I have realized to value the people around me before they are gone. Illness and age will eventually take us all so cherish what you have right now in this moment because this is all that really matters.