two hundred eighty three

THE "LIGHTENING BUGS" OF OHIO

 I was born in Eastern Ohio, in a small industrial town surrounded by small dairy farms, pastures, woods, ponds, lakes and meandering creeks. The mosquitos and flies were horrendous but I didn't know how bad they were until I moved to the desert southwest. 

We had very unpredictable weather because of the Great Lakes. Winters could be harsh or mild depending on the length of fir on the Wooly Worms acording to the Farmer's Almanac.

The mood of the jet stream had much more to do with it. If the Jet Stream flowed north of the Great Lakes winter was usually mild with little snow and no ice on the ponds and lakes. If it flowed south of the Great Lakes, Arctic cold air masses would line up to invade our state and give us six feet of winter snow and double digit below zero temperatures. 

This constant freeze and thaw created some of the largest pot holes in the country. A hard winter would reduce the insect population but a mild winter would give them an early start and a bad bug season. 

A few weeks each summer there is a bright spot we had what we called Lightening Bugs. You can find a few of them all summer but a couple of weeks in the middle of the summer they would fill the fields, parks and backyards. 

On those endless summer nights we would brave the mosquitos until they went to sleep and the air was filled with these surreal creatures. Children are fascinated by them and are compelled to catch as many as they can. They aren't actually flies they are beetles. There are many types of Fireflies, all I know about are the ones in Ohio. 

Our parents would call us in for the night but we were under the spell of the moment and ignored their threats. They would soon come out to scold us and realize it was lightening bug night. This was a wildcard moment and they would stop everything and sometimes join in or sit on the porch watching until we were all exhausted.

This is a stock picture, the boy is much cleaner then I remember ever being. All summer I was coated in dirt, tanned, scraped and bruised. I had to be threatened to wear shoes or a shirt. 

We played army, Tarzan and baseball. We drank from the garden hose, caught frogs, crawfish and snakes in the local creek. We had rock fights, explored the city sewer system and as boys we were fascinated with peeing.

In fact this was the penalty for the loser of our epic baseball games. We had arguments and fist fights over almost every call, balls, strikes, safe or out and foul or fare. At the end the victor got to pee on the loser that also ended in a fist fight.

I am covered with scars today that bring back childhood memories. The firefly nights were a pleasant moment of harmony that effected everyone. I actually saw my older brother and his bully friends join in in catching a few. They tried to maintain their cool but you could see the kid in their eyes and smiles.

If you ever get a chance to be in the right place at the right time to feel the magic of these mystical creatures, stop everything and see them. You could even leave your cool behind and look at them through the eyes of a child.

two hundred eighty two

ALWAYS WEAR CLEAN UNDERWEAR

It's always a good idea to be ready for emergencies. I'm 70 now and I need to be smart about my health and wellbeing. The loner Marlboro man lifestyle I mimicked most of my life was fine when I was young, reckless and bullet proof. 

My favorite Clint Eastwood line was "A man must know his limitations". Over the years this line has saved my life. I actually stop and think before I do something stupid. I'm not saying I won't do it but I do first think about it. 

I love being in the middle of nowhere making my way through wind, rain, heat, long stretches of empty desert, high snow covered mountain passes or endless farmland. 

In the beginning I had a flip phone with extra batteries, a paper map and compass. My gear was less than basic, I got wet, cold and blisters. 

There was as much as a week that I was out of cell range. I rode through the worst neighborhoods, slept in a few scary spots and I'm pretty sure I camped with a few felons.

I'm not afraid but I am a little wiser. Most of my life I have had a romance with danger particularly anything that pumped up my adrenaline. 

Having an ID and contact info is just common sense. Finding me unconscious or worse is just something to be aware of.

The simple cross is a reminder I have never been alone. That night at the church March 31 1980, everything changed. There is no power in a piece of jewelry but it is a constant reminder of my place.

Jude 24 my favorite verse for comfort.

"To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy—"

In spite of myself I am loved and valued.

The other symbol is for Alcoholics Anonymous, on August 5 1990 I got sober. I now have family anywhere I go. The meetings I have found all over America were very soothing, I was amongst fellow survivors. 

Yes if you do the math I drank a few dark years with Jesus at my side. I now know I was never abandoned in spite of my behavior. The comfort of knowing this is everything. 

I work the steps of AA, go to meetings and help other alcoholics. I also keep the lines of communication open with God no matter what.

My actions always change my attitude both good and bad.

This is not my usual light hearted post but I felt it necessary to reveal more about myself. 

two hundred eighty one

                                I'M FOREVER

           TWENTY SIX YEARS OLD

               ............IN MY HEAD

I don't have many pictures of the younger version of me, in fact I have very few pictures of me period. This one is from the 80's, I was in my mid-twenties. 

Even though I'm 70 years old I still look out through my thickening glasses and perceive the world around me as a twenty six year old. 

I can still jump, run, work a twenty hour day, lift heavy things and fight. The problem is the actual thought of jumping or running triggers an override in my brain that shorts out all physical attempts to do either because I have had a knee replaced.

Working long hours is possible but the recovery time can now take days. After a manual labor career my body is capable of efficiently moving large objects because I have learned to use it, but overpowering a heavy weight with pure muscle still seems a waste of energy.

As for the fighting I still have a great posturing bluff that has served me well, but I'm not sure I'm regarded as much of a physical threat. What I do have is the "old man card".

The majority of men fight over pride. Sometimes you are at the wrong place at the wrong time. There is little you can do if you are the what I call "it". I have been the victim of this a few times. 

When I was young I healed quickly so even a real thumping never made me miss a day of work. Today I think I may stay down for a lot longer.

The "old man card" works like this; if a fight is about ego, both parties need to be perceived as a trophy. Beating up children, women or old men is far from sporting in fact it is shameful. 

If you point this out and own the fact that you are and old man, he and his friends will see there is no upside to a victory. You lose a little pride but it usually ends in a good laugh.

This is a common conversation I have with friends my age. We laugh about it but none of us are happy about this fact.

A few weeks ago I was walking out of Costco towards my truck when a woman driving by stopped, rolled down her window and asked if I needed help finding my car. I thought what the hell do I look that pathetic and lost?

I have had several young women offer to help load a heavy suit case in the past couple of years, but last week I had an older woman say," Let me load that it's too heavy for you". She weighed about 110 pounds.

I loaded them after I pressed each suitcase over my head five or six times. I think she got the point or she thinks I'm crazy.

I had an eighty year old lady hit on me. She was pretty up front about it. She said the men her age were dead and life is short. I was at a loss for words so I just smiled.

Another day I stopped to answer a phone call during a bike ride when a very nice woman stopped to see if I was having a stroke or heart attack. Bless her heart for her kindness but my ego felt like I had had my testicles removed.

This is just life I understand that, but I don't have to like it. All I know is I'm going to get up everyday and do the drill, what other choice do I have?

There is a choice but I refuse to stop living a full life. I want to do what I have a passion for as long as I can, after all I am only 26.