PUT DOWN THE MENU!
I'm a people watcher. Watching how people drive, shop, select the fastest check out line or order in a restaurant reveals a piece of their personality. I'm sure if you watched me do these things you would learn a lot about me too.
Navigating a crowded grocery store I have noticed more and more people saying "I'm sorry" for some unknown reason, all they are doing is shopping, but the thoughtless people who should say "excuse me" don't.
Driving styles reveal temperament....
Four way stops...
and rotaries also reveal temperament.
This post is about how people behave while they order food in a restaurant. The setting is a new restaurant with a large menu. It is not a quick bite for lunch it is a relaxed meal with friends. I define dining with friends as a conversation with food.
Some order by price, some order to be safe, some order for adventure and some order to make sure they don't make the wrong choice.
I'll get myself out of the way first. Ice water is good, I order for price, order what I like and am the first one to lay down my menu. I'm not a foodie but I do like hot, so I order the first thing I find that I like.
The pollsters; they ask others around the table what they are ordering to get a consensus. They usually scan other tables to see what other people are eating then ask the waiter about what they see.
The questioners; I personally have put less effort into buying a new car. They study the menu front to back and back to front. The waiter comes, answers several questions then they ask for more time. The waiter returns a few minutes later for more questions and then gets a completely off menu order. Moments later the waiter is flagged down for a change or two.
The more people; they want more bread, more butter, more salsa, more chips, more sour cream, extra napkins, a different fork and extra cheese.
The second thoughters; they regret what they ordered and spend the entire meal complaining. They look at everyone's plate saying "Oh I should have ordered that".
The special diet people; they want BPH free bottled water, gluten free, organic, sugar free, low carb, preservative free, vegan, caffeine free, polyunsaturated, dairy free but ironically they are the one who suggested Jakes Barbecue Pulled Pork and Ribs food truck for lunch. The really annoying ones wait until they get their order to point out what they can't eat.
Don't get me wrong I enjoy observing these different styles. People have every right to order the way they want to order. The waiters may quietly grumble in the kitchen but this comes with the territory, after all it was their choice to be a waiter.
As I watch the ordering drama play out, I smile. I know my friends smile as I act out my ordering quirks. This is a small window into how we navigate life. I think the only negative style is never putting down the menu. They may finally order food but in the rest of their lives they are usually paralyzed by indecision.
What if I choose wrong? What will I miss? What if I don't like it? Can I change my mind? They endlessly research, poll everyone, study data, read their horoscope, Farmer's Almanac, Magic Eight Ball, flip a coin, ask God to choose or anything to avoid making a choice.
Part of this is not wanting to take responsibility if things go wrong. Choices are hard because of the fear of living with a bad choice. Ironically not choosing is the wrong choice.
Looking at my own life I have made emotional choices, impulsive choices, obvious choices and a few wise well thought out choices. Some worked out perfectly, some caused me to miss out on opportunities and some were complete disasters. There are no parallels to how I chose, the most thought out were sometimes disasters and the most impulsive worked out perfectly.
I heard General Schwarzkopf speak about leadership. He said as a young General in Vietnam he was told his function as a General was to choose. Stop, go, right, left, up, down fast or slow, your soldiers are looking to you for direction so one thing is clear, not choosing is failure.
He then asked "I'm sending men into harms way, what should I do?" They said, "if you ever want a good nights sleep again in your life make the right choice."
He learned to clear out all of the politics, pressures and opinions and make the best choice to accomplish his mission. I don't know if he slept well but what I took away from what he said is to ignore opinions, pressure and popularity and make a right choice. Like General Schwarzkopf, I am the one who must live with my choices.
There are many examples of indecision, one is Leonardo DiCaprio. He is almost fifty and continues to date under 25 year old women. Granted he is rich, good looking and famous but after the sex what on earth do they talk about? A wild guess, it might be about Leonardo DiCaprio. Come on Leonardo, put down the menu.
What is the right career, college, city or climate? Should I stay single, get married, have children, no children, a life of service or a focus on wealth and leisure? All of these have an upside and downside. The only choice that is certain, living with indecision or regret is a waste of precious life.
We all have a life to live and I have no advice on the right or wrong choices. I do however have two things I say to young people, live your life and don't miss it. Perhaps I should add, think as clearly as you can, make your choices, then put down the damn menu and enjoy the world around you.
