two hundred eighty two

ALWAYS WEAR CLEAN UNDERWEAR

It's always a good idea to be ready for emergencies. I'm 70 now and I need to be smart about my health and wellbeing. The loner Marlboro man lifestyle I mimicked most of my life was fine when I was young, reckless and bullet proof. 

My favorite Clint Eastwood line was "A man must know his limitations". Over the years this line has saved my life. I actually stop and think before I do something stupid. I'm not saying I won't do it but I do first think about it. 

I love being in the middle of nowhere making my way through wind, rain, heat, long stretches of empty desert, high snow covered mountain passes or endless farmland. 

In the beginning I had a flip phone with extra batteries, a paper map and compass. My gear was less than basic, I got wet, cold and blisters. 

There was as much as a week that I was out of cell range. I rode through the worst neighborhoods, slept in a few scary spots and I'm pretty sure I camped with a few felons.

I'm not afraid but I am a little wiser. Most of my life I have had a romance with danger particularly anything that pumped up my adrenaline. 

Having an ID and contact info is just common sense. Finding me unconscious or worse is just something to be aware of.

The simple cross is a reminder I have never been alone. That night at the church March 31 1980, everything changed. There is no power in a piece of jewelry but it is a constant reminder of my place.

Jude 24 my favorite verse for comfort.

"To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy—"

In spite of myself I am loved and valued.

The other symbol is for Alcoholics Anonymous, on August 5 1990 I got sober. I now have family anywhere I go. The meetings I have found all over America were very soothing, I was amongst fellow survivors. 

Yes if you do the math I drank a few dark years with Jesus at my side. I now know I was never abandoned in spite of my behavior. The comfort of knowing this is everything. 

I work the steps of AA, go to meetings and help other alcoholics. I also keep the lines of communication open with God no matter what.

My actions always change my attitude both good and bad.

This is not my usual light hearted post but I felt it necessary to reveal more about myself. 

two hundred eighty one

                                I'M FOREVER

           TWENTY SIX YEARS OLD

               ............IN MY HEAD

I don't have many pictures of the younger version of me, in fact I have very few pictures of me period. This one is from the 80's, I was in my mid-twenties. 

Even though I'm 70 years old I still look out through my thickening glasses and perceive the world around me as a twenty six year old. 

I can still jump, run, work a twenty hour day, lift heavy things and fight. The problem is the actual thought of jumping or running triggers an override in my brain that shorts out all physical attempts to do either because I have had a knee replaced.

Working long hours is possible but the recovery time can now take days. After a manual labor career my body is capable of efficiently moving large objects because I have learned to use it, but overpowering a heavy weight with pure muscle still seems a waste of energy.

As for the fighting I still have a great posturing bluff that has served me well, but I'm not sure I'm regarded as much of a physical threat. What I do have is the "old man card".

The majority of men fight over pride. Sometimes you are at the wrong place at the wrong time. There is little you can do if you are the what I call "it". I have been the victim of this a few times. 

When I was young I healed quickly so even a real thumping never made me miss a day of work. Today I think I may stay down for a lot longer.

The "old man card" works like this; if a fight is about ego, both parties need to be perceived as a trophy. Beating up children, women or old men is far from sporting in fact it is shameful. 

If you point this out and own the fact that you are and old man, he and his friends will see there is no upside to a victory. You lose a little pride but it usually ends in a good laugh.

This is a common conversation I have with friends my age. We laugh about it but none of us are happy about this fact.

A few weeks ago I was walking out of Costco towards my truck when a woman driving by stopped, rolled down her window and asked if I needed help finding my car. I thought what the hell do I look that pathetic and lost?

I have had several young women offer to help load a heavy suit case in the past couple of years, but last week I had an older woman say," Let me load that it's too heavy for you". She weighed about 110 pounds.

I loaded them after I pressed each suitcase over my head five or six times. I think she got the point or she thinks I'm crazy.

I had an eighty year old lady hit on me. She was pretty up front about it. She said the men her age were dead and life is short. I was at a loss for words so I just smiled.

Another day I stopped to answer a phone call during a bike ride when a very nice woman stopped to see if I was having a stroke or heart attack. Bless her heart for her kindness but my ego felt like I had had my testicles removed.

This is just life I understand that, but I don't have to like it. All I know is I'm going to get up everyday and do the drill, what other choice do I have?

There is a choice but I refuse to stop living a full life. I want to do what I have a passion for as long as I can, after all I am only 26.

two hundred eighty

I LOST A GOOD FRIEND TODAY...

 

San Francisco

When I lived in San Francisco I met a man. We had very little in common because we were from very different backgrounds and social circles. We had a few conversations about life and politics over the first year. One day his wife who had been ill for a very long time passed away. 

We talked about important things but mostly guy stuff. He was a Doctor with an obviously successful practice. He had retired years earlier and was healthy for an eighty year old. 

Unfortunately his heart grew weaker over the years. He was always concerned with my wife's health, she has been dealing with a serious illness. We ate in a French Restaurant in Sausalito a few years back. We talked on and off over the years and lately he started to FaceTime. 

I asked how he was then we talked like a couple of guys. I always knew this day would come and wondered if he would return my texts.

Today I was in a mountain pass driving a bus. I was in a very spotty cell phone area and had passengers. I had to cut our call short and had planned to call when I was back in town. 

There was no answer so I left a message. A few hours later the phone rang and it was his daughter. I had no contact with his family we just talked from time to time. She said her father had passed away.

Not knowing this old friend other than our conversations, we were strangers. I gave my condolences and she said she would tell me about the service arrangements. We said goodbye as my heart ached.

I should have taken the time to talk. I wish I could have said goodbye but I didn't realize in the moment it was our last conversation.

I could roll with this guilt trip but he knew how I felt and I knew how he felt. We knew we might be saying goodbye for the last time at the end of most calls. He called me minutes before he died so that means everything. I had no idea I was that important to him.

I miss him.....

two hundred seventy nine

 THE FINAL PIECE IS ME!

My bike is ready, in fact it is beyond ready. I have food, clothing and shelter strapped to a tough and tested bicycle. I actually have water and four days of food on board. 

Now as for me, I have a new knee, an extra 20 pounds and almost ten years of limited riding since my last long ride. Every long journey starts with one turn of the crank. 

For the last couple of weeks I have taken a daily ten mile ride around the neighborhood. The bike was unloaded but the basic bike weighs over 30 pounds. Today I loaded it with full panniers and did another ten. 

I'm staring down the barrel of seventy years old so I feared my sight, hearing and balance would be an issue. I have to be realistic about these things and to my pleasant surprise I'm ready to rumble.

My body is weak, my lungs aren't the same and my eye site doesn't work well at night. My muscle memory and riding habits are still strong, so this gives me confidence that I simply need to focus on conditioning.

The extra weight of my fat ass and loaded bike does require a great deal of torque to launch away from a stop light. My new knee passed the test. It gets stiff and the muscles around it hurt but it goes away fairly quickly.

I have been in shape most of my life but this knee has taken a toll over the years. I'm looking forward to getting past the limitations of the bone to bone pain. That has been a real struggle on my past trips.

I ate Ibuprofen by the fist fulls for years and constantly while I was on the road. I have not taken any for months now. 

Getting started was really hard but now that I have the window is opening. Training sucks but I have the gear and the vision, now I just need me.

two hundred seventy eight

 LETHARGIC

TACO

What is lethargy? Lethargy causes you to feel sleepy or fatigued and sluggish. This sluggishness may be physical or mental. People with these symptoms are described as lethargic, I am lethargic.

I have spent the past winter upgrading my touring rig. I upgraded almost everything preparing for my next adventure. I even upgraded myself.

The bike itself is a tried and true product and only needed maintenance, new tires and bar tape. My electronics were modernized with lithium battery and smart technology. My kitchen, bedroom and wardrobe also had several additions and upgrades. The only thing now is me.

I had a knee replacement a thorough physical and a plan. There is nothing stopping me right now. The weather is great, I have the time and I have a great place to train. The only thing left is getting off my butt and doing it.

I could list my troubles and worries but everyone has them. I learned years ago a powerful truth, action changes attitude. I know how to change my mood, my problem is taking the action. 

I have joined at least five gyms, each time I vowed to exercise regularly. After the second visit I realized gyms are filled with people. I love people but gyms seem to have pushy sales people, over friendly women and men, muscle bound gym rats and hall monitors. I just want to do my workout and be left alone. I am generally pleasant and social but the atmosphere of a gym doesn’t bring out my best behavior.

I’ve been told to train with a partner, and that is a very valuable suggestion. However I don’t play well with others. I have been told that I turn everything into a contact sport. I have a competitive nature that brings out my dark side and I don’t like the way this makes me feel. 

Years ago I trained with a friend named Chris. We would run ten miles from one city to another every Wednesday night. It was a beautiful rural run with light traffic and plenty of hills. We did this for a few months then one day Chris didn’t show. He said he wanted to run with me and not be used as a rabbit. I had to admit I loved grinding him down and leaving him in my dust then seeing how many popsicles I could eat before he finished. 

I ride my 85 pound touring bike the same way. I see a cyclist on the horizon and I have to run them down. This is usually not possible so my knees pay a price for my stubbornness. If I hook up with another touring bike or group I make it a race so I’m not fun to ride with. 

The idea of training with someone isn’t that I don’t want to but I don’t know how to do it without crushing them, so in some ways I can be a bit of a jerk. In fact when I'm alone I compete with myself. If I allow myself I can get frustrated because I never ride far enough or fast enough. The years and my journeys have calmed this part of me but it still lurks below the surface.

Starting things and finishing them takes discipline. Small things are the most difficult for me. Big things like long bicycle trips are more manageable. The reason for this is simple, I rent a car, pack my rig, drive a few thousand miles, turn in the keys then ride home. The physical distance leaves me without the option of stopping. 

Running a mile on a quarter mile track gives you three opportunities to stop. Running a mile in a straight line does not give you any options other than finishing.

Right now getting in shape enough to attempt this is my present goal. If I start at the Pacific Ocean and ride to the Atlantic Ocean I will be either a broken man or a real bad ass. I have used this principle from the first trip but I was much younger then. I’m a little over a month from the big 70. I know it is the new 60 but climbing on an 85 pound bicycle and riding thousands of miles isn’t common or easy.

At my age I should be satisfied with a few rounds of golf at a high end resort, a two week fishing trip or a cross country motorcycle ride but my passion is my passion. I just wish I felt that passion part more passionately right now.

I will do this God willing because I’m stubborn and bull headed. Right now I need to move forward with my conditioning. I’m making progress and now I put it in words to be read by others. I have used talking trash to activate my ego. That usually gets me out the door.

two hundred seventy seven

BUSINESS CARD

I will hand them out along the way to stay connected to the people I meet.

 

two hundred seventy six

IN THE FAMOUS WORDS OF POPEYE "I YAM WHAT I YAM"

Well I'm an old straight blue collar Christian conservative white guy. Today some may say this is a brave and bold statement but like Popeye said "I yam what I yam". I am closing in on 70 years of age, far longer then I had ever expected to live. I have seen plenty of change in my life, some good and some not so good.

After that short statement I imagine a few people are already assigning labels, motives and tribal membership to me. If that is you there is nothing I can do about it. Name calling, judging and stereotyping does not promote discussion or debate it is simply a cheap tactic to silence and divide. 

I can't stop any of it I can only ignore the name calling, labeling and  implied motives and affiliations. I long to have honest discussions wherever possible but it is becoming rare. 

What once was common sense is now turned upside down and inside out. Name calling, assigning blame, guilt trips, victim status, self pity and rewritten history does not welcome debate. Censorship, changing the meaning of words, false science, the blanket omission of facts and character assassination are tactics to discredit and demonize opponents.

The desire to know the truth takes backstage to feelings. We don't speak the same language and don't share the same vision of history or the future. We now have narrative news coverage, blowhard panels of so called experts and the opinions of self appointed group leaders, all designed to justify hatred and resentments.

I think it is like two divorced parents in a custody battle that are trying to win the favor of their children. They desperately manipulate always masking it by saying things like "It's for the good of the children", however the tactics they use reveal their true motives. 

One offers no discipline, no bedtime, junk food and unrestricted playtime. The other parent has rules, bed times, nutritious meals and makes them do their homework. Both parents point out to the children how the other parent doesn't care about them.

It is up to the child to make a wise decision about their future and how they will be cared for. It is obvious most children will choose no rules, candy and playtime and think the parent with rules is mean and doesn't care how they feel.

Teaching children to be selfish is easy, it simply reinforces their existing immature natures. However, teaching a child about sharing, obeying rules and respect for others takes time, effort and struggle. 

Divorced parents have different motives. Some motives are loving and caring but some are based on financial gain, having control or revenge. The one constant in divorce is the children always pay a price.

The sad thing about political battles is many adults are subject to these same manipulative tactics. It is unfair to expect children to make adult choices but I do expect adults to make informed mature choices.

The notion of independence, personal responsibility and productive citizenship seems to be fading, but unfortunately jealousy, envy, self pity, hatred and emotional tantrums is becoming stylish. 

By their very nature all political parties seek power and control and they do not give a damn how they get it. Both parties spend billions on campaigns to sway voters to support their party by hook or by crook. 

Over two hundred years ago we saw the beginning of negative campaigns, so this is nothing new. What is new is the sophistication of the manipulative tactics they use. 

The targets of these campaigns have also changed. The ideal target of these campaigns are naive, poorly informed and self-centered people. They are easily swayed by emotion, transfer checks and envy. 

On the other hand the nightmare hard to manipulate voter is independent, informed and self disciplined. They need to be convinced using reason, information and principles. If you can't convince them with good arguments the only defense is to discredit, smear and discourage them to keep them on the sidelines.

I'm not saying the Republicans are better, smarter or more noble then the Democrats or that the Democrats are better, smarter or more noble then the Republicans. They are both political parties plotting and scheming to take power and money away from the citizens. 

Like the scorpion and the frog story it is just their nature, everything else is packaging and spin. We the people are responsible to keep both parties in check. 

Divide and conquer is the most effective tactic being used today.                  

Unity is becoming a forgotten principle, in fact it has been turned completely around. Some are again judging others by skin color, ethnicity, gender, sexual preference and religion. In some convoluted way they can spend hours justifying this backwards logic while demonizing those who call for unity. 

All I know is when I heard these words......

Doctor Martin Luther King Jr

"I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character"

.....When he delivered these life changing words on television, I like millions of others listened intently. I was deeply moved and from that moment on fully embraced this principle and have never changed. It breaks my heart that others have.

I have no answers other than encouraging others to be informed thinking voters. My heart is broken because of division and hatred. Forces are feeding this part of our lower nature to advance their agenda. 

This is not a partisan political post, yes I have conservative leanings. I think we should apply laws equally, live within our means, have transparency in government, a responsible media, value freedom and liberty and live in unity. If that makes me a racist, insurrectionist, radical, Neanderthal or bigot that is your problem.

I take my hat off when the flag passes, thank veterans nurses and policemen, wave and say hello to strangers and use my turn signals. Yes I'm a grumpy old guy at times but there is wisdom to living by principles instead of personalities. 

If we operate by principles we have a foundation that will last. If we follow or worship personalities we put our power and trust into another flawed human being. Politicians are tools, they serve a function but if they ignore the basic principles this country is built on they are destructive. 

...."Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself.  

                                           Mathew 22: 37-38

The theme of this bicycle blog resides in this statement. I traveled 14,000 miles on a bicycle using these principles. The neighbors (strangers) I met along the way responded to love in ways I will never truly understand. I'm not a naive fool I know I could easily be a victim. I claim no supernatural protection for my physical safety, I had to use common sense. 

However I now fully know two powerful truths, I was never alone and love reflects love.

two hundred seventy five

INTO THE AIR

This is a view from the top of the Superstition Mountains looking down on Mesa, Apache Junction and in the distance Phoenix Arizona. I camped on the very point of Flatiron (marked with a highlight) at least a dozen nights. It is a short but steep hike from 1700 feet to as much as 4000 feet, Flatiron is around 3500 feet. In this 2.6 mile hike I could feel the change in air pressure, oxygen levels and temperature. 

The air is something we all take for granted. We say things like the air is heavy or thick without a thought that it is being held against our planet by gravity. If we submerge a few feet in water we can easily feel its resistance and pressure. Air is not as dense but it has a great deal of effect at speed.

The North American Can-Am Racing Series the best racing series ever. Unlimited horsepower and unlimited aerodynamics the wild west of engineering. I attended many of these amazing races during the late 60's and 70's at Mid-Ohio and Watkins Glen. 

They were discovering the power of down force, ground effects, drag and turbulence. There were no wind tunnels it was all math and guess work. Soon they had to make rule changes because the cars were too fast for the tracks.

The SR-71 Blackbird spy plane was developed using thousands of hours in early wind tunnels, chalk boards and slide rules. It was secretly designed and built in the 60's as a high altitude high speed spy plane during the Cold War. The declassified speed was 2193 miles per hour. The ultimate in thrust and aerodynamics far ahead of its time. 

Today wind tunnels run 24/7 to perfect this engineering science. They wind tunnel race cars, passenger cars, motorcycles, trucks, trains, planes, helmets, bridges, sky scrapers, sunglasses and golf balls. 

Dale Earnhardt was an expert at reading the wind. He was also an expert at spinning his competitor on the last lap but that is another discussion. I loved when he talked about the nuances of drafting like bump and side drafting. 

After his years of experience he perfected the use of the air to his advantage by saving tires and fuel or making that momentum pass using the slip stream. Today restrictor plate racing creates a nose to tail 200 mph parking lot. These races are now total aerodynamic strategy. 

Racing bicycles are designed to reduce drag and air resistance. They are powered by one human so preserving this limited amount of energy is vital. Feather light aerodynamic bikes, aero wheels, aero positions, helmets, shoes and clothing are developed and tested in wind tunnels.

The ultimate in cycle track racing is run on indoor tracks in still air, on smooth wooden tracks on 200 psi tires to limit friction.  Everything is  aerodynamically  designed plus the choreography of nose to tail drafting is an art. They reach sustained speeds of over 50 mph. I have been in a line of road bikes on a rolling highway once I could not believe the speeds we could maintain. 

The front rider pushes flat out then drops to the tail to rest. Each rider takes a turn at the point. The group can easily keep the speed of the front rider because they are sitting in the turbulent air behind him plus reducing his drag. 

The same principle applies to tandem bikes, one hole in the air, the friction of two tires and two humans powering it forward. I rode with an older couple in their seventies they were on a tandem bike with panniers, they kicked my butt.

So how can I use these principles with my loaded touring bicycle with panniers with only one human powering it? Yes it is heavy, under powered and the worst possible example of aerodynamics. However I have discovered a few tricks.

First of all this is a "hold my beer and watch this" moment. I might have tried this in the past, but it is not practical. Trucks do create a great deal of turbulence that can be felt in a car and on a bicycle. 

I have drafted trucks in my Geo Metro hatchback across America to save gas more than once. I stayed in their slip stream for hours or until they finally got tired of me following them. I actually got 50 miles per gallon with my three cylinder 51 hp engine by drafting.

If I have a head wind I try to find a busy highway with plenty of eighteen wheelers. They push a lot of wind but they are going too fast to actually draft but the turbulence they leave in their wake pulls you along and is easy to ride through. Look for buildings or walls that can act as a wind break.  The secret is finding turbulent air whenever possible. It doesn't sound like much help but over a long day it adds up. 

A day of headwinds is like riding up a mountain but you never reach the summit. Busy highways are hectic but you can find some relief. Drafting other loaded bikes can help a little but I think it is more like assembly line work you tend to push each other. 

The reality of solo loaded bicycle touring is you will face headwind days and they usually suck big time. Make the best of them eventually you will get a tail wind day and you will feel like Superman. 

two hundred seventy four

SAVING FOR A RAINY DAY IS JUST PLAIN STUPID

Saving money for a rainy day is a very wise principle but some people apply this principle to their lives. In my opinion saving your life for a rainy day is just plain stupid. Having a big pile of un-lived life at the end would be sad and pathetic. Our lives are to be lived not saved for a rainy day.

To be clear I have been rather foolish with my money and should have saved more. I'm not by any means destitute I have enough. I have a place to live, food to eat, a car to drive, a really amazing bicycle to ride and a loving wife who puts up with my snoring. 

Physical fitness has now become fashion. Thin is in, Keto, Palio, plant based and Vegan diets are all the rage. Some do pilates, yoga, spin class, rock climbing, running, cycling and pole dancing. Organic, all natural, scent free, gluten free, sugar free, caffeine free, animal free, cage free and anti biotic free but nothing is actually free they are all much more expensive.

People swallow piles of supplements, liters of exotic juices, and gallons of filtered BPA free water. They repel smoking, perfume, sunshine, new car smell, dust, indoor and outdoor air pollution. They avoid cholesterol, fried foods, carbohydrates, red meat, dairy, eggs, sugar and flavor. All of this is to extend their lives. 

When I was in high school I worked with a 45 year old man who said "People say if you exercise and stay regular you will live an extra ten years, but who the hell wants to spend ten years on a toilet out of breath?" He chain smoked filterless Pall Mall cigarettes and drank a minimum of 12 beers a day. I heard he is still living in Ohio.

There is nothing wrong with extending your life and avoiding things that are unhealthy, I know I am trying, but there needs to be a balance. Take care of your health but don't forget to live. 

Our hearts beat, our lungs breathe, our eyes see and our ears hear. Someday much sooner then we like, all of this will stop. No one gets out of it we all exit stage left feet first. This obsession to avoid this end has become a lifestyle, an industry and at times a mental disorder. 

Now being an old fart in the eyes of young people my only advice to  them if it is solicited is to live their lives and don't miss it. It may sound like some riddle from Yoda but it is that simple, just live your life.

Wake up everyday, take a breath, look out of the window, smell your coffee and be grateful you are alive. Skip the news, Facebook, e-mail and telephone text messages. Read something affirming and consciously turn on your eyes and ears. By this I mean look at something and try to see it, listen to something and try to hear it.

The most important thing is to get perspective. Transferring the responsibility of running the entire world and making sure people act the way they should over to something or someone beyond yourself is liberating. I'm certain none of us makes the sun rise, the weather change, the tides rise and fall, gravity or has the ability to make politicians not be assholes.

After I relinquish this control I focus on the small world I am responsible for. I am responsible for my interactions with the humans in my small circle, be it in traffic, on line, on the phone, in the grocery store, my friends, my family, my customers, employers, or fellow workers. I avoid division, judgment and hate, I focus on respect, listening, kindness, mercy, acceptance, please and thank you. 

The secret isn't in the activity it is the act of perceiving. People jump into private jets, travel the world, mingle with celebrities and royalty,  live or stay in multimillion dollar mansions, drive exotic super cars, wear the latest designer clothes and eat the best prepared food but if they can't see, hear, smell, taste and touch it is just an empty activity. 

Great Movie WITH HONORS worth a watch......pay attention to his bag full of rocks

I have met people with practically nothing who have the ability to perceive life in a rich fulfilling way and I have seen the despair and emptiness of those who have this lavish lifestyle. 

It isn't the wealth that is the issue I have met extremely wealthy people who have the ability to keep things in perspective, I admire them. I'm not sure I would be able to keep this perspective I could be an arrogant ass, but at this point I'll never know.

Our world today views life as a commodity. We assume we will get our 79 years or more, but modern medicine, airbags, bike helmets, sun screen, low-fat and all natural food won't save you if you are "it". Life at times is not fair, babies die mysteriously in their cribs, kids get cancer and natural disasters kill thousands in the matter of minutes. 

Life is fragile and sometimes we are just "it". Hiding from life may help us avoid getting killed but it will definitely keep us from living it as fully as we can. 

Yes navigating this mysterious balance is a risk, an uncertainty and yes your responsibility to choose. I have no answers for you, I have my own life to navigate. This blog is where I express why I choose what I choose. It may be pure foolishness to risk riding on the edge of the highway but it is what I choose.

What I do recommend is to learn how to see and hear, taste and smell, feel physically and emotionally and be present and grateful. One day at a time, living in the moment, being present or being where you are and seeing what is in front of you. The more I live this way the more I love living and the less I fear that stage left feet first exit.

I know this is a rant about life but it is appropriate in this bicycle blog. I found most of these things on the seat of my bicycle.

two hundred seventy three

MAKING PEACE WITH THE VOICES IN MY HEAD

Highway 50 through Nevada, no cell coverage, no radio, no internet, almost no sign of civilization and a whole lot of silence. I think about this experience more often then any other chapter of my journeys. 

400 miles in 7 long lonely days

I had survived the early spring of the Sierra Mountains. My original route was still closed because of snow. After an extra day or so of detours I was in South Lake Tahoe. The thought of traveling the loneliest highway excited me but made me take this next leg of my journey seriously.

I made it to Fallon Nevada, restocked my food supply and found a reasonably priced motel. I found an AA meeting in the middle of a smoke filled casino right behind the bar. I learned later that small Nevada towns have legal cat houses. I first thought it was strange that a few houses on a back street still had their Christmas lights turned on.  

The following morning I was on the road expecting to face some physical challenges. What I did not understand was how much this would challenge me mentally.

                                                     We all have a committee of voices meeting in our heads. My voices are the usual, you should or you shouldn't, you can't or you can, I dare you and I double dare you. Some judge me and some justify me. Some  make me feel guilty and some order me to paint "redrum" on a wall.

In regular life there are plenty of distractions to interrupt these conversations, however the isolation of highway 50 never interrupts. 

There are endless hours of no music, talk radio, other cyclists, no convenience stores, gas stations, coffee shops, restaurants and no noise. Only the sound of my tires, the click of my right clip in peddle and my own breathing. The phone never rings and the cars passing at warp speed only come every hour and a half.

I stayed completely silent the first two days. I found a great big sky camp site to enjoy the moonless night and the stars. I stopped at a, or should I say the restaurant to eat but kept to myself because I was actually enjoying the solitude. There were some tourists on the other end of the bar that got louder with every round. I was glad when I was back on the road.

After another night of camping and I was climbing to Eureka when the snow came. I didn't expect it but I did find shelter in a closed empty unheated restaurant. There were two young guys from London already staying there. This was the big town, it had a grocery store, gas station, library and a few residential houses but none had Christmas lights. 

The young guys struck out in the morning but I stayed another night to let the snow storm pass. I got on line at the library but mostly I kept to myself, kind of uncharacteristic of me. The next days were physical a lot of climbing plus some gusting wind. 

I camped again and enjoyed the stars. The next day I passed a small house that was very close to the highway. It had a chain link fence around it and two young women were sunning themselves on lounge chairs. I stopped and said hello we talked about the nice weather. I then noticed they still had their Christmas lights up so I excused myself and moved on. A couple nice young (enough to be my daughters) women.

The loneliness part never came. The anxiety and restlessness had faded away, my mind and heart were finally calm and peaceful. I had no epiphany, spiritual experience or vision. I was simply alone in one of the most remote highways on a peddle bicycle.

I don't know if it was being away from media, being in nature or allowing the voices to talk until they were finished. All I know is feeling very small and insignificant in the vastness of this harsh environment changed something in me. On occasion I return to this emptiness to feel this way, it is good for my soul. 

I traveled into Utah and stayed a couple nights in Cedar City before I tackled the Rockies of Colorado.

two hundred seventy two

IN THE CHAOS OF THE BIKE LANE I FIND SERENITY

Growing up in the 50's and 60's I was never actually diagnosed with ADHD, Dyslexia or Autism. In those days these were called stupid, lazy and behavior problems. 

Over the years I now suspect one or all of these may have been what limited me. When I was in school my inability to focus, do quick math and read aloud was very humiliating and was probably the cause of many of my bad choices and under achievement. 

I believe our life experiences shape us both good and bad. We all have things that have handicapped us but I only know what I personally had to overcome.

The lack of focus best describes my most elusive issue. I won't call it a handicap and won't declare myself a victim, my brain and body just works in a different way. My most difficult struggle was finding a place where my brain and body operates the best.

To most people this is serenity, breath taking scenery, peaceful calm wind and water and tranquil quiet. 

I can only take a little of this. My mind begins to analyze the depth of the lake, how many fish are in it, who built the dock and where is the boat, what do trees taste like, does eagle poop reach terminal velocity and what would happen if gravity stops working? 

Before long I would be pacing around the dock in circles or skinny dipping. This environment can drive me crazy. I can see it for a few amazing minutes then I have to move. 

My old business card illustrates one place I personally have found what I call serenity. The website and business no longer exists but it was based on the principle used for centuries of swaddling cranky babies. Over decades of experimenting I discovered this also works on cranky adults. It is forced meditation combining sensory deprivation, compression an immobilization. 

Ask yourself if you can be still without expending energy or do you need some outside force to keep you still? I may in the future do a more in-depth post about this business. One hint is I am not able to be still without help.

The chaos of the bike lane is another place I find this serenity. It is a dangerous place with unpredictable hazards and multi ton vehicles passing within feet. Because the danger is a matter of life and death (my death) my mind must focus on the environment around me. Over the decades I have learned to be calm and find a soothing and relaxing place for my mind and body. 

Strangely, even though my mind is occupied with this chaos my thoughts are clear and focused on other issues. My body is revved up but I am in control and calm. I read the traffic and monitor my tires. My path ahead is scanned for any possible hazards. It becomes so second nature I rarely think about it. I am what they call in the zone.   

Even when the weather kicks in I can feel every thing. My "spidie" sense kicks in and I feel the traffic behind me even if I don't first see them in my mirrors. Mile after mile of this I am so focused it is difficult to talk when I stop at a store or coffee shop. 

 I'm sure my brain is flooded with dopamine, which may have a lot to do with it. All I know is this wide angle, high definition and high fidelity focus is where I love to be.