two hundred seventy eight

 LETHARGIC

TACO

What is lethargy? Lethargy causes you to feel sleepy or fatigued and sluggish. This sluggishness may be physical or mental. People with these symptoms are described as lethargic, I am lethargic.

I have spent the past winter upgrading my touring rig. I upgraded almost everything preparing for my next adventure. I even upgraded myself.

The bike itself is a tried and true product and only needed maintenance, new tires and bar tape. My electronics were modernized with lithium battery and smart technology. My kitchen, bedroom and wardrobe also had several additions and upgrades. The only thing now is me.

I had a knee replacement a thorough physical and a plan. There is nothing stopping me right now. The weather is great, I have the time and I have a great place to train. The only thing left is getting off my butt and doing it.

I could list my troubles and worries but everyone has them. I learned years ago a powerful truth, action changes attitude. I know how to change my mood, my problem is taking the action. 

I have joined at least five gyms, each time I vowed to exercise regularly. After the second visit I realized gyms are filled with people. I love people but gyms seem to have pushy sales people, over friendly women and men, muscle bound gym rats and hall monitors. I just want to do my workout and be left alone. I am generally pleasant and social but the atmosphere of a gym doesn’t bring out my best behavior.

I’ve been told to train with a partner, and that is a very valuable suggestion. However I don’t play well with others. I have been told that I turn everything into a contact sport. I have a competitive nature that brings out my dark side and I don’t like the way this makes me feel. 

Years ago I trained with a friend named Chris. We would run ten miles from one city to another every Wednesday night. It was a beautiful rural run with light traffic and plenty of hills. We did this for a few months then one day Chris didn’t show. He said he wanted to run with me and not be used as a rabbit. I had to admit I loved grinding him down and leaving him in my dust then seeing how many popsicles I could eat before he finished. 

I ride my 85 pound touring bike the same way. I see a cyclist on the horizon and I have to run them down. This is usually not possible so my knees pay a price for my stubbornness. If I hook up with another touring bike or group I make it a race so I’m not fun to ride with. 

The idea of training with someone isn’t that I don’t want to but I don’t know how to do it without crushing them, so in some ways I can be a bit of a jerk. In fact when I'm alone I compete with myself. If I allow myself I can get frustrated because I never ride far enough or fast enough. The years and my journeys have calmed this part of me but it still lurks below the surface.

Starting things and finishing them takes discipline. Small things are the most difficult for me. Big things like long bicycle trips are more manageable. The reason for this is simple, I rent a car, pack my rig, drive a few thousand miles, turn in the keys then ride home. The physical distance leaves me without the option of stopping. 

Running a mile on a quarter mile track gives you three opportunities to stop. Running a mile in a straight line does not give you any options other than finishing.

Right now getting in shape enough to attempt this is my present goal. If I start at the Pacific Ocean and ride to the Atlantic Ocean I will be either a broken man or a real bad ass. I have used this principle from the first trip but I was much younger then. I’m a little over a month from the big 70. I know it is the new 60 but climbing on an 85 pound bicycle and riding thousands of miles isn’t common or easy.

At my age I should be satisfied with a few rounds of golf at a high end resort, a two week fishing trip or a cross country motorcycle ride but my passion is my passion. I just wish I felt that passion part more passionately right now.

I will do this God willing because I’m stubborn and bull headed. Right now I need to move forward with my conditioning. I’m making progress and now I put it in words to be read by others. I have used talking trash to activate my ego. That usually gets me out the door.