MASCULINITY
Today masculinity is under attack. Men have been demonized and blamed for all violence, war, hatred, rape, macho and every evil imaginable. Don't get me wrong there are men with poor character who break the law, abuse or bully women, children or other men, engage in corrupt business practices or misuse authority. The men who do this should be held accountable for their actions, but labeling all men as bad because they live in a testosterone fueled body is wrong.
I still say that there is a difference between men and women. I know that is not a "woke" opinion, but I'm old and have my sex organs on the outside. Some say I have no right to say that because I'm not a biologist. I could come up with a few clever comparisons but I'll just stop at that's just stupid.
I grew up in different times but abusive criminal men were just as wrong as they are today. It would be like a person who attends a church, owns a computer, owns an American flag and lives in a rural state is responsible for a crime one thousand miles away, oh wait that already happens.
Boys are aggressive, competitive, reckless and physical. In their early teens testosterone goes on overdrive so they are insane into their twenties, or maybe seventies now that I'm there.
Men do do silly things to impress women. Like the bird kingdom they puff themselves up, ward off competing males, dress in fancy clothing, display their dominance and physical prowess and engage in exotic dances.
The females engage in similar practices. They sit in judgment of the competing males. They are in total control of the situation while the males make fools of themselves. This is full blown testosterone in action.
Wealth, physical prowess, the ability to protect and provide are assessed by the female. She plays her part in the ritual by displaying her beauty using makeup, revealing clothing and flirtation. Let's be honest first impressions are based on these rituals.
The elements of the ritual from the ancient world thru the 20's, 60's, 80's up to now have changed but underneath they are basically the same ritual. The "woke" mob has attacked this but I'm sure there are "cis-males" showing off their socially aware vegan woke credentials to impress cute "cis-females".
My generation raced and wrecked muscle cars. We talked trash and got in fist fights but basically we were trying to impress a girl. We were political and got behind causes but those too had a mating motive. All of this as testosterone screamed in our ears, the pursuit of females was in the center of everything.
Later in life I discovered what a real man was. Even though I had been bombarded by the message of honor, responsibility, strength and virtue from the adults around me, at work, in school and in the media it finally sunk in. I do not blame any young person for the views they have because they never here these values expressed in a positive way. They are usually mocked as outdated, out of touch and fools.
What it is to be a man has been blurred. The media portrays men as macho, sexist, violent, crude, womanizing, immoral pigs, but when they do show the man of character honor and responsibility who is a law abiding family man, but is rarely casted as the hero. After a few plot twists he eventually becomes the hypocritical bad guy. So the image of a man is trashed at both ends. Virtue, honor, responsibility, monogamy, protector, leader, provider, disciplinarian and spiritual head of the family is mocked and demonized.
Professor Jordan Peterson is one voice that promotes male responsibility. He has been savagely attacked link for encouraging young men to step up to the challenges of life and become virtuous responsible men. He has written life changing books that have inspired hundreds of thousands of young men to be better men. He has been ignored, smeared, slandered and censored for this. In spite of this opposition the common sense principles he lays out in his books continues to effect a generation of young men.
I attend mostly men's AA meetings. I have nothing against mixed meetings, in fact I have learned valuable lessons from women in my sobriety journey. Men act much different with just one woman in the room, I'll admit I do. I love my wife and have no urge to cheat. The reality of testosterone racing through my veins and pheromones in the room at a subconscious level I feel my feathers puff and I suck in my belly.
In an all men's meeting the rough and tumble of male humor, the straight honest talk and the bluntness if being called out for bull shit is something not every woman would understand.
The average woman would be surprised what real men talk about. Yes there is a little bar room talk but my experience is the majority of men feel like they can always do better. They yearn to be better husbands, fathers, friends and citizens. Most feel alone and it takes a while for them to open up. Sure there are self centered jerks, macho men, womanizers, thieves and liars, but they don't hang around long. I guess the strip joints can use the money.
I have seen strong men weep, morn loss, feel the shame of financial failure as a bread winner and yearn for answers to heal relationships. Not every man follows sports, has ever been in a fight or was led around by their penis. Most men are lonely and insecure but they do it in secret.
My dad a few months before he became ill.
Men are cave dwellers, we feel safe there. We will invite a woman in but don't want it redecorated. Real men are not victims, they keep their emotions in check, but they share them with a fishing pole or wrench in their hand.
I grew up with several examples of how to be a man. Some taught me the wrong things but most challenged me to be responsible, honest and loyal. Sure men can be pigs but most are doing the deal. They pay their bills, obey laws, provide for their families, are loyal to their wives, work hard and show up on time.
There are fewer and fewer good examples of good masculinity presented to young men today. Entertainment media emasculate and feminize men. The warriors and police in the middle of a fire fight continuously share their insecurities with each other while they kill the bad guys.
Once the testosterone starts to flow growing up is confusing enough. Combine that with the new societal pressures its no wonder they choose to wear a dress. I know I'm old and my idea of how men dress, play and conduct themselves is dated, but the fundamental essence of a good man never changes.
Living in central Oregon the young guys I know have started businesses, have a trade, are raising families and are becoming positive male mentors. They hunt and fish, have nice trucks and a motorcycle, go family camping and can build and fix stuff.
Some would see them as Neanderthal knuckle dragging mouth breathing breeders. I doubt they have ventured far from their bubble to meet these men. I have lived in many places in and out of that bubble and this small town gives me hope for our future.
All is not lost, this weird detour we are on goes against basic human nature it will not last. If this is natural it would not have taken this long to surface. The pendulum swings slowly sometimes and there will always be people pushing the boundaries. I can't wait to get back to live and let live.
