Emergency Room Triage
Triage is the clinical process of sorting patients based on their medical urgency to maximize survival rates and use limited resources efficiently.
Sorting through the spectrum of illnesses and injuries is a tough job. Day after day, night after night there can be extremely sick children, seriously injured athletes, critical auto accidents, heart attacks, strokes, bleeding wounds, life threatening allergic reactions and so on. On the other hand there are people using the emergency room as their family doctor, drama queen hypochondriacs, drug seekers, the mentally ill homeless and so on.
The usual first come first serve rules do not apply in an emergency room. This seems to be beyond some peoples' sense of reason and fairness. A sprained wrist vs a heart attack, seasonal flu vs a severed hand is different than a place in line at the bank or grocery store check out. Some people understand and just grin and bear it but some get angry and loud and a few lash out.
The chaos becomes second nature to the staff, but at times their patience wears thin. Being bored with the usual cuts sprains and fevers one minute and overwhelmed the next minute with life threatening event. They probably never seeing a normal shift so it takes a toll over time. If they ask an impatient question or give a rude response which rarely happens is understandable in my opinion.
I've spent many hours in the Bend Emergency Room over the years and find it is an excellent people watching spot. The drug seekers are the most fun to watch because as soon as a nurse or doctor passes by they flop faster then a professional soccer player. The cringed look on their face and posture of chronic pain is entertaining.
The couple that is still drunk and fighting as they wait for stitches. I've actually seen a couple pass a brown bagged bottle around. The worried mother holding her new born or her very healthy all boy with a broken tooth waiting for an x-ray and a few stitches.
Every face tells a story and you grow an opinion of every nurse, doctor and cleaning staff as they walk by and either ignore you or smile.
I believe an emergency room is in an alternate universe or dimension. All sense of time is distorted one side never having enough time while the other is experiencing a complete time stand still.
I've been on both ends of the spectrum, the dehydrated stubborn athlete who never drinks enough water to the guy with a severed artery with his arm wrapped in a towel. Both times when I called I got the "Why are they taking you before me?" look.
Mostly I'm the guy who just sits and watches people. I'm already sick or injured I'll get in when I get in. Writhing in anger is pointless so I make the staff laugh and thank even the cleaning crew. My visit doesn't go faster or slower.
I want to thank the emergency room staff in Bend or anywhere people do this. I understand they can grow numb to the things they witness. To cope with this they seem to all develop a dark humor.




And of course you would add your unique brand of humor at the end. The guy with the artillery shell up his arse could be nominated for a “Darwin Award”…oh yeah, you have to die doing stupid shit in order to earn one.
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