four hundred nine

 

YOU CAN'T WIN IF YOU DON'T PLAY!

I grew up in Ohio, we were one of the first states to have a state lottery. We had scratch tickets the daily three and four digit numbers plus plenty of illegal gambling. Youngstown had plenty of gambling because it was known as a "mob town", the 50's and 60's were particularly violent. 

In the early 70's a state lottery was proposed. At first it was resisted but soon I personally think the mob found a way to share in the joy of giving, after all it was for the children. 

As it was fast tracked through the legislature. I remember television ads displaying children receiving needed funds to improve their education. Every one seemed to be on board because the opposition was silenced or ridiculed, sound familiar? 

Soon the daily numbers, scratch tickets and more and more games appeared. The weekly numbers were a feature on television. The winners were paraded on television receiving giant checks. Mullets must bring good luck, go Terry.

I remember discussions in the work break room about what the first thing they would do if they won. Must revealed their plan to tender their resignation with a colorful speech. Others a new house, car, boat, trip around the world or all of the above.

If there was a particularly large pot there was usually an effort to increase the odds by pooling money. If all seventy five employees bought in it would increase the odds by .0001%.  

The conversations about how they would spend the money became more and more charitable. They would help the poor, save the puppies and purchase world peace. I guess God listens and picks the most virtuous person to win. The truth is if you are a poor asshole you will probably be a rich asshole. Money only magnifies who you are.

Lottery winners rarely fair well, even the people who really needed the money end up broke in three years. 

I noticed how people changed how they viewed the lottery particularly the poor communities. It wasn't "if" they win it became "when" they win, it became a retirement plan. 

I have gambled in the past but betting on my skill with a pool stick is different then betting on random numbers. I don't do either anymore.

The point of this post is the opposite, you can't lose if you don't play. Unfortunately I lived by that philosophy. Competitive team sports interested me but after a few losses I quit trying. I then played safe and never lost, but I never won either. I turned inward and lived in the background. 

I acted like I didn't care about winning but the truth is I was afraid of losing. I admire the risk takers and still do but I chose to become the crazy loaner. 

I drove crazier and would do anything on a dare. It wasn't for attention in fact the craziest things I did I dared myself and no one ever knew about it. I had a few guys I hung out with but they were crazy loners too. We weren't afraid of anything except losing. Every weekend was a new near death experience to fuel our need for adrenaline.

We had no interest in being popular or winning awards. Of the maybe five guys I did crazy with no one had more then one picture in the High School year book, no sports team, clubs or musical groups. I know one snuck "the bird" past the editors.

I did certainly have fun, I liked being a smart ass that got me into fights but I wasn't good I usually got my butt kicked. However I was hard to beat because I always had the last laugh. No I didn't win I laughed while I was fixing my broken nose. Fighting in those days was different it made you feel alive. 

I masked losing with an I don't care attitude. Looking back I could have made a better plan but I didn't have a mentor. 

Now at 74 I could have made better choices and done more winning but looking back I agree with Joe Walsh "Life's been good to me so far".

I love watching championship playoffs, not so much for the game but the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. I watch the celebration and the pain of defeat and admire all of it. All I know is risking public recognition or public shame takes balls.

I also admire bold risk takers, people with tattoos on their face, the guy who preaches Jesus saves while dragging around a giant cross and the guy who spends his retirement money restoring a muscle car. They all live bold and without apologies. They aren't waiting for a winning ticket to finally start living they just live life at "11" without a net!