two hundred forty nine

Why would a grown man want to ride a heavy bicycle across America?

I have tried to understand my wondering need for a very long time. I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s like most kids wondering what it is all about. The political and cultural turmoil of war, the draft, civil rights, moon landings, Woodstock, television, muscle cars, girls and rock and roll set the back drop. 

I was the younger son of a blue collar family from a small Ohio town. As a vocation factories or farming was the choice most kids made. We got jobs, fast cars, raised some hell, fell in love, got married, bought a house, started a family and tried to figure it out like every other human on the planet.

We all have a path and a story I’ll tell you a little part of mine. After a rough and tumble free range childhood I was an average kid. However I was plagued with impulse control issues and a few what they now call learning disorders. Thank God I was not treated for any of these because I eventually learned to live with them and thrive.

I write in this blog in a way that I believe is helped by these “disorders”. It takes me twice as long but I believe it makes sense to the people reading in a way I still don’t understand. Perhaps it just fits in your head too.

I was a bully and I was bullied, I was shy but obnoxious, I hid while I was showing off and like most young boys under the influence of testosterone, thought my dad was an idiot, rebelled at every turn and howled at the moon. I somehow avoided arrest and survived muscle cars with only a broken leg but a few dead friends. We were living in a strange bubble trying to stay awake in a small town.

My dad eventually got smarter and years later I understood he had had every right to smother me in my sleep. I wrecked his cars, broke his tools and pretty much drove my parents to the very edge. I know I’m not the only one but I was pretty bad.

Being alone kept me out of trouble and being alone was very comforting. I have found over the years this is both good and bad, there has to be a balance. I’ll save you all of the psycho babble about my path to get some things into perspective. 

The bottom line is I’m sober for more than 30 years and I have a relationship with my higher power Jesus Christ. From the day I entered into a covenant with Him I have never felt alone. We talk but not often enough, I’m not everyone’s idea of a model Christian but I won’t plaster on a Jesus mask to make people happy. Over the decades of this relationship I have changed from the inside out so hiding that with a mask people can see around would be disingenuous. I am who I am and I am striving to be better every day.

Enough preachy stuff now back to the reason I ride a bicycle like I do……