three hundred fifty two

This quote caught my eye and made me think.

Oscar Wilde was right, he was pointing out a fact that is more and more apparent today. He was a life long hedonist who rebelled against many of the social norms. If nothing else he was true to himself to a fault. In some circles today he is admired as a hero. 

His admitted self-centeredness in its pure form was a form of social disobedience, his poetry and books cut against long established behavioral norms. He was an early proponent of the "If it feels good do it" philosophy.

 

Today you hear lip service given to "the rule of law" this statement has become no more then a line in a speech. The Bible is creatively quoted to support evil or condemn good. History is conveniently rewritten and events are exaggerated or censored. 

The phrase, in my opinion, rationalizations, situation ethics and nuance now bend and shape any definition of right and wrong. To sight an authority that states anything is right or wrong can get you banned, censored, fired, shamed, fined, sued or imprisoned. In other words long established principles. 

Personalities or people all have opinions. Throughout history the most powerful person can force their opinions on others. They can be called dictators, rulers, politicians, bureaucrats or bullies. Unfortunately these personalities do not look after the best interests of anyone other then themselves. 

I have had personal experience following my own personality. Even I did not look after my best interests. I indulged in self interests feeding my wants, appetites and cravings rationalizing that I was only hurting myself. 

I eventually surrendered to an authority I could trust. People have their own agenda but God has my best interests at heart. I don't like some of His limitations and requirements but over the years I can see these are the principles I must live by.

Society today has lost their anchor and is now adrift. I won't go into any details they are slowly being revealed. Principles is what we need but personalities are driving by in a windowless van offering us candy.

We have the twelve traditions in AA, the focus on anonymity is based on limiting the focus on personalities and a focus on spiritual principles. 

Oscar Wilde is correct in his observation but totally wrong about what is good for mankind.

three hundred fifty one

**** By writing this post I have taken a risk. I rarely reveal this part of me. It may explain my obsession with long distance bicycle touring. My ever restless mind and body has always searched for a place to relax and be calm. On the seat of my bicycle climbing a mountain pass, crossing a desert or enduring wind, heat, cold and rain I have found that calm. This is simply another place I find that calm. Most will find it strange but a few may find it makes total sense.

I created a business when I lived in Hawaii, well it was more of an idea. I had a website, business cards and a brochure. I had a few clients but mostly I tried to promote the usefulness of my unique service. I talked with counselors, massage therapists, natural paths, yoga instructors and float tank operators. Most understood the principle and found it interesting.

I knew from the beginning it would not be profitable because I was promoting an unconventional new form of meditation. I took license to call it a therapy, it may not fit the exact definition but in this new age world the definition of the word has been blurred.

Reiki energy work, Watsu water massage, primal screaming, drum therapy, sweat lodges and floatation tanks, all use the word therapy. I have simply discovered a method that can accomplish similar goals and effects. One issue is some may associate this practice with the BDSM community. 

My therapy is based on the principle used to calm cranky infants called swaddling. Swaddling is simply wrapping an impfant snuggly in a blanket.

It has been discovered that this same principle also calms cranky adults.

Many primitive hunter gatherer cultures used a more interesting method perhaps invented because an infant stayed with the mother for long periods as she worked. Native Americans call this device a papoose board.

The infant was not only wrapped tightly, they were tied to a board. They could be carried on the mothers back or placed near by as she worked.

The modern version uses velcro. 

This principle has been adopted in the treatment of autism. It has been discovered that restricting movement with a full body squeeze has a significant effect calming their anxiety.

They call them squeeze boards. In a classroom situation a stressed autistic child is placed in this device. Once the child experiences the effects they are calm and can rejoin the other students.

As a child I was searching for something. My mind was restless, I could not keep my body still and I was always in trouble for outbursts. When I was alone I was constantly hiding in dark confined spaces. Looking back this board would have been a dream come true.

I was obsessed with the restriction of movement and everything sensory deprivation. I was also interested in anything to do with solitary confinement, space travel, scuba diving and padded rooms.

During the 50's Donald O'Hebb a professor of psychology at a Montreal University set out to study the affects of sensory deprivation on human cognition. After reading about this I searched the bulletin boards at Kent State University to see if they ever needed students as subjects for a similar study. 

Another thing that caught my attention were Spas offering body wraps. I was intrigued by the compression but they offered it for short term weight loss. I think it was just another money making service, go capitalism! It was a big fad for awhile, I'm not sure many spas still offer it. 

Altered States with William Hurt was my first exposure to the idea of float tanks. Unfortunately at that time the only float tanks were developed to research the effects of LSD.

It took years until I had the opportunity to try a public float tank. It was a great experience but it lacked something, I could still move around. Even though the sensory deprivation experience was soothing I had nervous energy so the movement was distracting.

I was always fascinated with mummies. I loved the idea of the tight wrapping but not the dead part. 

 

I searched and searched for something that combined restricted movement, compression and sensory deprivation and finally found a device called a sleep sack. It was in a catalog from a company called Fetters based in England. It was invented around 1976 by the late Jim Stewart. I had no access to one but I now knew there was such a device.

This is one of the original Fetters sleepsacks.

The arms fit into sleeves and with one zipper the body is held in a mummified position. The body can then be immobilized and compressed by adding straps.

To most this is weird or crazy but for some reason I was drawn to it. I had finally found restriction of movement, compression and sensory deprivation combined in one device. The yearning to experience and own one of these became an obsession.

Sadly at that time the only place I knew these were available was in the gay BDSM community. I could have ordered one but my obsession was still a secret and I had other financial responsibilities. Eventually they began producing sleepsacks in other materials like leather, rubber, canvas and neoprene. 

A morning float in a full body leather sleepsack and hood. LINK

Luckily plastic wrap and tape are available in hardware stores everywhere but unfortunately I was alone and mummification is a two person process. These were very frustrating years. I knew about the thing I knew would calm me but the stigma forced me to hide it from everyone. 

This is a very skillful example of tape mummification, the body is wrapped with plastic wrap then covered with tape. This is a one size fits all method. Properly done, the subject can remain like this for several hours. This method requires constant monitoring and a good pair of safety scissors, safety can't be stressed enough. 

_____________________________

I moved to San Francisco and finally had the opportunity to buy a sleepsack at a store called Mister S Leather. The majority of the users were into them as a sexual fetish. A few like me wanted them for the meditative effects. These users wanted no interaction or sex they simply wanted to experience the affects of the device alone. 

I later found like minded people into pallet wrap and duct tape mummification. Oddly many were genius level software engineers from Silicon Valley. This gave me the opportunity to build my skills and learn what this was all about. 

After each session I debriefed my subjects both men and women to learn about their experience. I was curious to know what worked and what didn't. They commonly used the word calming and described a powerful emotional reset or reboot. These people spoke my language.

I learned more and more about the journey and effects as the one wrapping and the one being wrapped. I grew a keen awareness of what was going on with my subjects under the wrap. I could detect stress and discomfort. I could ward off a panic and help extend the experience. Many said I made them feel safe and said I had a sixth sense.

I saw a need to help those poor souls confused by their desires for what I was fortunate enough to find. Many put themselves in danger by trying this alone and some think they were sinful or crazy. I saw a need to create a place where they can experience restriction of movement, compression and sensory deprivation in a space they were accepted and safe.

The few clients I did have had previous experiences. They enjoyed my focused professional approach. Their previous experiences with others usually had sexual interaction. They were finally able to enjoy the pure restrictive experience alone.

I know what I have revealed has put some people off, I will be the first to admit it looks like an unusual practice. Most people have a negative first impression. My hope is that you look past your first impression to see the deeper therapeutic elements of this practice. After a lifetime of trying to make sense of it, I know it is harmless if practiced safely. It is the one thing I have found that soothes my mind and body. A two to three hour session will reset my nervous system for days. 

Many years have passed and I now own a canvas, rubber and a one of a kind custom glove leather sleep sack all for my personal use. I wish I could be more open about this but the stigma is always there. The few I have told still raise an eyebrow. The bottom line this is an innocent and effective form of meditation that helps people wired like me.

This is me in my happy place. It is a custom made Maxcita canvas sleepsack and hood. I can spend hours and hours floating and come out reset. No green fees, no gasoline, license or membership, just someone to pull a zipper apply a few straps, monitor me and let me out.

My business brochure

three hundred fifty

MY FIRST CAR 

1963  CORVAIR MONZA

Mine didn't look like this one, this one has been nicely restored. The asking price sixty years later is 30 times what I paid for mine. Mine was used with 60,000 hard miles which was a lot in those days. It had a little rust, several putty filled dents and a half hearted coat of gray and rust brown primer paint.

I fell in love with it because it was rear engine, had a four speed floor shift manual transmission and four tires that held air. I can't remember which used car lot I bought it from but I think I paid $400 cash, my cash. 

In 1965 Ralph Nadar came out with is book "Unsafe at any speed" targeting the Chevy Corvair. Screw Ralph Nader!

In 1967 I was 16. I had a driver's license, a job bagging groceries and enough money to pay cash. My parents weren't thrilled but what could they say? I had to work Saturday, the day they delivered it with the temporary cardboard license plate. This was the longest work day of my life.

I got home and saw it in the driveway. I washed it inside and out, started it, checked the oil, looked through the manual and almost slept in it. No I didn't drive it because I had no idea how to drive a stick.

Sunday morning my best friend Rolf came over so we both sat in the car dreaming. Finally my dad came out to teach me how to drive stick. He leaned in the window, pointed at the clutch peddle, the numbers on the shifter knob and said push the clutch in to change gears. He said be careful then walked back into the house.

I guess I was expecting more. I looked at Rolf, started the engine, put it in gear, let out the clutch, stalled it, restarted the engine then hopped and jerked out of the driveway. Lucky for everyone the morning traffic is almost nonexistent on Sunday mornings in Ohio. I ground gears, stalled, screeched tires but finally I figured it out. I finally tasted the freedom of having my very own car.

The first couple weeks I was struggling to perfect my shifting but soon I got cocky. I finally over revved the engine and the fan belt popped off. The engine was air cooled so the cooling fan stopped. I was far away from home with no tools.

The engine was so hot I had to wait a half hour before I could touch anything. Finally I stretched the belt back over the fan fully and drove slowly back home.

From that point on I was aware if I over revved the engine the belt would come off. I carried tools, gloves. a new belt and belt dressing but this was always a problem.

My first winter of driving was a real learning experience. I had no collisions but I did spin it dozens of times. 

These were rear engine so the trunk was in the front. We went to the drive in, drag strip, the lake and any place that charged admission. I was the driver so Rolf was in the trunk. One time we actually got two guys in there.

This was my world, we smoked cigarettes, went on adventures, drove like a dare devil. I cheated death every night after work. My foot would shake on the peddles as adrenaline pumped through my body. I was young indestructible, irresponsible and foolish enough to take on every dare. 

My skills grew through trial and error and eventually mastered the full abilities of this car, I wanted something faster and better handling. My friends had muscle cars and were dying one by one. For one brief moment I realized my need for speed was going to kill me. 

I had been in a dozen wrecks as a passenger with my friends, most were minor collisions but three were pretty severe. I escaped with bumps and bruises and fled the scene of all three. This was to hide whatever was illegal to have in a car. We were always willing to help the police cut down on paper work.

The cars were all totaled and the cause of all three was defying the rules of physics. Driving too fast and missing a curve and hitting something. One was a telephone poll and the other was a house. The worse one was a roll over into a plowed field. Ironically no one was wearing seat belts.

My Corvair finally gave out after a down hill run where I hit 110 mph. I had three passengers and the highway was straight and steep, I could let it all hang out. This car was not designed for these speeds. The front end floated, the fan belt popped off and the engine sounded different after that. I has squeezed the life out of this old car, I knew something catastrophic was about to happen to the engine. I only drove it to work until I bought something more reliable.

1969 TRIUMPH SPITFIRE MARK 3

Looking back this was my first exposure to new car smell. This without a doubt was the coolest car I ever owned. If I had the money I would enjoy having one again.

Again I made a $500 down payment and borrowed $1500, my first car loan. I was a senior in high school. I worked full time as an apprentice meat cutter and had side jobs in the summer, so I made double and triple payments to pay it off quickly. I was responsible with my money but a complete idiot behind the wheel.

I eventually rolled it and actually got road scratches on the steering wheel. Another time I spun it into a high cement curb trashing two wire wheels and some major suspension damage. I road raced a few muscle cars. I got blown away on the straight aways but had the advantage on the tight country curves. 

Somehow I survived my first sports car. It took my next car to slow me down. I almost died like most of my friends. I am 71, much older then I ever imagined I would be. I survived for some reason I just hope I haven't wasted my life.

three hundred forty nine

THE MATRIX

There is plenty of talk about the Matrix today. The movie is a cult classic and now part of our pop culture, I refer to it often myself. The idea of living in a digital reality is becoming more then a possibility but in some circles a certainty. References to uploading our digital selves into a computer to become immortal has popped up in movies and television programing for many years. 

We have VR and amazing animation, deep fakes are almost impossible to detect, the Meta-verse simulates a digital world and AI is everywhere. I talked with customer support and for a few minutes thought I was actually talking with a real person. To someone who spent most of my life in a world of home phones, radio, paper maps, magnetic tape voice recording and video and broadcast analog television everything is amazing.

The next leap in technology maybe some sort of digital world but with smart phones, high speed internet and social media many have already crossed over. The technology will continue to get better and better to make things seem like reality but I believe the Matrix will always be flawed and a choice.

The movie portrays the difficulty of escaping the matrix. An army of digital G-men tracking down suspected rebels pop in and out of the matrix to capture the red pilled rebels. 

The idea that an entire civilization used as batteries to power the matrix is far fetched, but living in a programed reality is not. Not the complete programing of a physical reality but what we fear, lust for, hate, love and understand can be. 

A percentage have already surrendered to this so called matrix. They rely on government for their food, housing, health and safety. They are entertained by blinking and flashing games, live on delusions of fame and fortune and spend their lives following pop stars. 

They put their trust in the selected few that are smart, wise and always looking after their best interests. These leaders are happy to supply just enough crumbs to keep them quiet and docile. 

Some think being consumed by the matrix is inevitable or has already happened and they act like all is lost. I admit things are bad but the will to be free is in our blood. 

The rebels had the drive to endure the hardship of reality, I can't claim that is in my nature. As a recovering alcoholic the draw to live in an altered reality captured me for years. Once I tasted the serenity of reality I found the richness of life so I will never turn back.

The draw of escape is strong, the master plan is to make life so hopeless that checking out sounds comforting. Drug abuse, alcohol, sex, sports, gambling, suicide and escape entertainment are on the rise. 

Bread and Circuses

 Public trials and punishment of nonconformist, sound familiar?

This is not new, the masses have been controlled this way way before the internet. I believe the same percentage of people will fall prey to this trap and the same percentage will resist. Like it says in Ecclesiastes "There is nothing new under the sun".

Like the writer says the conclusion of the matter is "Fear God and keep his commandments". This struggle has gone on from the beginning so all is not lost. 

Living in reality is not easy, but today the so called puppet masters are becoming victims of their own devices. If you are awake the fight is on don't lose heart these are mere mortals.

Interesting video about the movie....LINK

three hundred forty eight

 1960 AMERICAN DECADENCE 

Chevrolet Impalla 

In my opinion this is the perfect American car. Yes the steering was vague, the suspension was floaty, the tires were unpredictable, power steering was experimental and the drum brakes worked really well once. Real steel, real chrome, big engine and a focus on style. They were not practical but that was not the point, these were land space ships.

Studebaker Hawk

The Studebaker company was based in South Bend. The designers seemed to have a lot of freedom to create futuristic designs. I think they were the most creative of all American car manufacturers. They went bankrupt and were purchased by Packard. Sadly this ended their over the top designs.

Lincoln Continental MarkV

The electric rear window was awesome but in the rain the mist from the road would wash in if someone opened a front window. A friend had one of these as a party car, it ended up in the Columbiana county fair demolition derby. Lincoln had several unique ideas.

Chrysler Imperial

Chrysler Imperials competed in the decadent market with this land cruiser. 

1960 Ford Thunderbird

Ford had a slightly smaller idea but only slightly. The T-Bird went though many changes over the years but they were always on the cutting edge of style.

1960 Pontiac Bonneville

My best friend's father had a red one, I went on a few double dates with him. I was glad he was driving.

1957 Dodge Coronet

1967 Plymouth Belvedere 

They were known for push button transmissions, power steering and power brakes but not in a good way. I learned to drive in our family car a 1957 Dodge Coronet and a 1967 Plymouth Belvedere in drivers ed. When my parents or the drivers ed teacher weren't paring attention I learned they both did really great gravel donuts, by accident.

There was one car that still captures a crowd at a car show the most decadent piece of Americana the 1959 Cadillac.

1959 Cadillac Coupe deVille

This car causes a stir wherever it goes. Even the most environmental nut will take a second look. This point in American history is often mocked by German touring car owners. They are not practical, environmentally friendly or fuel efficient but damn they are nothing but cool.

I'm a car guy and I like black cars if you haven't noticed. I love drooling over these expensive toys when ever I see one but owning one is way out of my range. 

Don't get me wrong Europe has produced some amazing cars.

Jaguar XKE V12

Citroen DS 19

Both of these are ahead of their time technology particularly the Citroen. They went a much different direction when it comes to styling but they just lack that cheesy over the top American obnoxious flamboyant quality. 

Gas was 30 cents a gallon and the traffic in rural Ohio was light. There was nothing like a Sunday drive through the country side with mom and dad in the front seat and big brother me and our dog in the back seat. We had an entire playroom to wrestle and play the "he touched me first" game. There were no headrests to block my dad's right arm back hand slap but we could duck and dodge because there were no seatbelts to hold us in place. 

We drove by the lake to say hello to grandpa on the way to get a Dairy Queen ice cream or 15 cent McDonald's hamburger. I know we were foolish not to strap our kids down but it was a different time. I remember hanging my head out of the window feeling the wind rattle my cheeks so when I see a dog doing this today at least I know why.

I notice many Americans are ashamed and many Europeans are smug but I am unapologetically proud of every pound of chrome. There will never be another car celebration like the 1960's.