three hundred sixty five


DEAN, MY UNLIKELY MENTOR

This picture looks like my friend Dean and brings back memories. The cold bite of refrigeration, the smell of fresh meat, sawdust and the strong smell of Maxwell House coffee in the 30 cup percolator. Dean added the additional aroma of filterless Pall Mall cigarettes, stale Miller beer and Wild turkey. He was my meat cutting mentor and friend.

I was in High School when I started an apprenticeship at a local grocery store called Persky's. It was a locally owned chain of five full sized stores and a dozen early convenience stores. Dean came from a large religious family. They owned a farm near Canton Ohio. In the 1930's it became one of the early meat processors in the area. They began slaughtering and processing local live stock then expanded to smoked meats, lunch meats and sausage products. Like most local farms in those days the entire family worked so Dean was nine years old when he started working in the family slaughterhouse hog kill shaving hogs. 


He was the family black sheep because of his love for fast cars, motorcycles, alcohol and a rough lifestyle. I heard plenty of stories over the years but mostly from other people. When I asked him he would just smile and change the subject. The local Sheriff did arrest him at work one day, I'm still not sure why. Things like that were not my business, I never asked and he never said.

Because of his lifestyle he didn't get involved in running the business. Instead he stayed on the kill floor and became a legend as a skinner. In those days the high demand for leather made cattle hides extremely valuable. 90% of producing a grade "A" hide with no holes or thin spots relied on the skill of the skinner. Eventually automation took over and the need for this skill vanished overnight. Dean was known locally as the best there ever was.

Eventually the business was forced to close because of changing regulations so Dean, after 30 years in the slaughterhouse became a grocery store meat cutter. Dean was skilled at sharpening and keeping a knife edge, he was ambidextrous and was the master of the efficiency of movement. He taught me these skills, except for being ambidextrous but he taught me a few things that weren't as helpful.

The meat industry was a drinking industry so there was a whisky bottle in every cooler. Many of us came to work hung over and almost everyone drank their lunch. Using equipment specifically designed to cut off hands and fingers after a shots and beers lunch was an everyday thing. I learned to begin my day with strong black coffee, a few filterless Lucky Strike cigarettes and a 7 AM snort of Wild Turkey.


The apprenticeship was old school, I got all of the crap jobs. I unloaded all of the trucks, including the swinging beef, did all the trim, cleaned all of the equipment and caught the blame for everything that went wrong. I was shown no mercy, I got harassed and hazed from the moment I got there to the moment I left. I could have quit but I learned to give as good as I got, I became part of a crew that over the years became closer then most families. In those days this rough and tumble ritual was an endearing guy thing. Being mentored by Dean wasn't all bad, he taught me a few valuable life lessons. 

At that time everything was processed in house. We received our beef in quarters, whole carcass lamb and veal, pork loins and shoulders, cut all of our chickens and made all of our grinds and sausages. There were large crews and plenty of work.


Being a meat cutter was never my dream job, I was a bag boy with a punk attitude hired before the holidays. They were about to lay me off when they opened up an apprenticeship in several of their stores. I was cleaning the meat department and they thought I was doing a good job so I was selected. I had just turned seventeen. 

At first I enjoyed the job but it soon became a boring miserable job. It did allow me to have a new car and eventually rent my own apartment. I got married and when the job market narrowed I had fewer and fewer options. For several reasons I became stuck doing the same mindless and miserable job for almost forty years. Even though I was stuck I did my job well and earned my money. 


My attitude about my work was bolstered by what Martin Luther King Jr said: "No work is insignificant. All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence." I also watched this played out by the men and women I worked with and my parents.

There were large windows that ran the length of our self serve counter. As the customers shopped they could watch us work. At first it made me self conscious but Dean told be that I had to decide who was watching who. He said "We aren't in the fish tank, they are". So from that day on I was no longer in the fish tank. This actually changes how I enter a room today, I rarely feel self conscious. I'm even comfortable in front of crowds, except when I have to read but that’s another story.


Locally the steel mills were closing along with the steel related industries. There was a massive movement to the sunbelt for jobs. The grocery business suffered severely because of the loss of customers. Unemployment was over 20% so if you had a job you had to keep it. 

There were thousands out of work willing to take your job. Vietnam veterans were returning, our national economy was inflated which made our local economy even worse. During the ten years I worked in the same Perskey building it was owned by five different companies. Dozens of management people with their different management styles came in but soon left with all of their crap in a cardboard box. We went through two years of bankruptcy that ended in the store closing.

Dean got me through those years by telling me during the reign of a particularly tyrannical owner. He said "These people only have the power you give them, suit up and show up, do a days work but don't kiss their ass. You're smart you'll get another job, how you look at yourself in the mirror in twenty years is what matters." That piece of wisdom changed my life.


The last thing he told me was to stay away from money, keys and bring your lunch, that's what they use to fire people. I watched dozens of cashiers, managers, department heads and employees fired for these.  I didn't bring my lunch but I was extremely cautious about anything I touched. 

Dean had a few drunk driving tickets, one was thirty days in county jail. He had a heart attack, had half of his stomach removed, got divorced and remarried his wife again for the third time. 

We became good friends but over the years we lost touch. The last time I saw Dean was in Arizona. I saw him walk past my meat case. He was visiting a daughter who had moved to Arizona. We had lunch, by then I was sober but Dean in his late seventies had this usual three beer lunch. 

I never heard what happened to Dean, if he is alive he would be in his late nineties, but I won't count him out. Dean is the toughest man I have ever met. Sure I learned some really bad things but I learned some valuable lessons. He toughened me up and helped me to be my own man. 

three hundred sixty four


CARTOON MEDIA
Everyday Wile E. Coyote almost gets the Road Runner. This is how the constitutionally protected forth estate watchdog for the people media fills the news cycle. 

Their communication network can reach to all corners of the world. With their amazing technology, massive studios and highly paid producers and personalities their quality HD broadcasts are second to none. Their signals bounce through satellites, flash through the high speed internet at the speed of light into our smartphones, laptops, iPads and 72 inch flat screen televisions. 

Sadly our so called news has turned into twenty four hour entertainment and propaganda. Substantive events that have the potential to effect our nations future and security are by design selectively ignored. The need to control information is not new, since the first newspaper, telegraph, radio or television broadcast powerful people have tried to control and use this power to manipulate the thoughts and opinions of the masses. 

The information that we do get is superficial and devoid of facts. Debate has been quashed, rude and shallow insults are common and a willful dumbing down of their audience is their longterm goal. Today the average middle school lunch room is having a more substantive conversation. 

Their claim of informing the public is a joke, petty sniping, edited clips and a funny look make careers, division, incitement and name calling are the new normal.

Along came the internet and social media. The early days of user friendly websites and blogs brought a wave of new citizen journalists. Some grew large audiences but most remained small. The currency amongst the early bloggers was truth. Sighting false information or unsupported fact would result in rebuke by the other bloggers and their readers. We wanted the truth because we knew we weren't getting it from most major news outlets. 

Eventually the powers that be saw these uncontrolled voices as a threat. They first tried to ignore, discredit and belittle them. They demonize their motives and finally tried to limit their access to servers, hide them in search results or completely censor them. 

Most of the public did not know about these efforts, some knew by experience but others fully supported their silencing. It has been documented that our government had a hand in these efforts to selectively censor its opponents but it is a story that has had little if any news coverage. J Edgar Hoover made lists, Nixon only thought about using the IRS against his enemies but now government is actually doing it with the IRS, FBI, DOJ and more. Ironically after fifty years only tricky Dick and J Edgar Hoover gets any coverage.

It has been years since I have watched a major network news broadcast. Most cable news commentary programs can rob a viewer of vital IQ points. 

They do not inform or tell the complete story, they tell "a" story. No background, context or follow up question just a snarky comment, selective sound bite or emotional rant. Their audiences have dwindled down to their true believers. Accusing the other side of everything wrong and crediting their side with absolute brilliance and coolness.

I refuse to waste a minute of my time wondering what a Hollywood celebrity thinks, any victim group representative’s opinion and the legal opinion of a random former prosecutor who is probably too dumb to get out of jury duty.

I know I'm older and opinionated but I do know how to research background, context and ask a follow up question. Wanting to know what the truth is is a curse I have to live with. Maybe one day it will become a fad again. 

three hundred sixty three


I'M A VICTIM VOTE FOR ME! 
(OR YOU'RE A BIGOT)

 First of all there is definitely crime, discrimination, prejudice, hatred and abuse. The subjects of these criminal and immoral acts are certainly victims. Law enforcement, management and our legal system are set in place to deal with these offenses but unfortunately many fall through the cracks. 

There are therapists, support groups and spiritual councilors to help the victims of these traumas. My heart goes out to anyone who has experienced crime, cruelty, abuse or unfairness.


A person who has been victimized suffers physical, mental and emotional damage. This damage will effect them through their lives to one degree on another. The question is do they perceive themselves as a person who has been victimized or do they identify as a perpetual victim? 

Most credible therapists will help a person process their traumas and move on to live a happy productive life. This may take many years but ignoring this process leaves them damaged. Without help many get stuck in permanent victim status and live a resentful and fearful life seeking pity, revenge or worse.
Unfortunately there are some so called friends, therapists, support groups, counselors and spiritual leaders who do the opposite and encourage victims to continue to wallow in their victimhood. Instead of pointing out the need to heal and move past their trauma they support their feelings and leave them in a very unhealthy place. In spite of their good intentions they victimize their subjects again. 

A few counselors with their own issues use this control to stoke bitterness and hatred and turn them into super victims. Victims find relief in this type of therapy because it justifies narcissism. They learn to enjoy the power of victim status. They are always morally right, they are not responsible or accountable and forever entitled to sympathy. 

We now have several camps. The victim who earnestly seeks healing, finds good council and works hard to move past their traumas. The earnest victim who is misled by counsel, they may feel better but they remain damaged. And there are many who fully embrace the narcissistic power of being angry perpetual victims. 

Now that I have tip toed through the mine field of saying anything about victims I'll get to the point. 

Today there are political movements using real victims and manufactured victims. Real victims are used as props. They say they care but these victims are more useful if they remain unhealed. They want them angry and encourage them to hate the people they point to as the source for their problems.


There are manufactured victims, these are people or groups who falsely seek the power of victimhood. They use this victim status as a shield or wild card. Any criticism or disagreement is labeled as an attack. Many hide behind actual victims and use them as spokesmen.

An offense is based on how things are perceived not the actual words or acts. Actions and words can be hurtful and should be policed but feelings now determine guilt. No facts are needed just a mood or opinion.

It is a mine field should I smile, say hello, hold a door, offer a seat, give a compliment or have an opinion? Should I just ignore everyone and stay silent? Do I risk using the wrong pronoun and do I have the wrong genitalia? It is a crap shoot that hinges entirely on how we are perceived.

I'm not seeking sympathy I just want clarity. The unwritten rules are ever evolving and applied retroactively. What was correct this morning can by noon be a racial slur. It is like changing all of the speed limits and then issuing tickets for speeding five years ago. 

Victim power has shut down most debate. If feelings and fears override laws, rules and common sense there is no safe place to have them. Hate speech has been redefined as speech that triggers.  
 

This tactic has slowly taken over leadership. A decade or so ago electing someone who identifies as a victim to any leadership post would be out of the question but now it is a virtue and selling point. 

In the nineties I began to notice that things were changing. At that time victims were to be helped not used. A person who came up the hard way moving beyond their troubled childhood, economic hardships, bullying, hatred, prejudice and tragedy to become a wise strong willed and qualified leader was valued. 

Today these success stories are not valued and sometimes criticized. If they commit the sin of encouraging victims to embrace personal responsibility and hard work to move beyond their limitations. They are labeled as mean, heartless, sellouts or worse.

Like everyone I faced an unfair world. I could explore the measuring game of unfairness and I'm certain others had it better or worse but my point is I was never encouraged to lay down and quit. In fact I had a few kicks in the ass and hard consequences for my poor choices. Self-centeredness, laziness, complaining, blaming and demanding attention was still looked at as shameful. I was expected to get up every morning and carry my own weight. 

Sure there were victims in my generation. They needed understanding and help. The council they received was focused on moving toward healing. There were others who embraced their victimhood and dropped out. Generations later this has started to change because all shame is gone. 


Yes I'm complaining but mostly I'm feeling sorry for our kids. What do they look forward to? The religion of global warming, unprotected gun free schools, pandemic nightmare, mind controlling social media, lethal drugs, looming World War III, student debt, gender confusion, unstable job market and an ever widening racial divide and indoctrination. 

At a time when a call for personal responsiblity is needed more then ever there is a deafening silence. Political speeches and debates rarely use any of this language. However the calls to embrace victimhood are loud, clear and angry. Narcissism, entitlement and taking it to the streets is encouraged. 

All I had was a nuclear Cold War, Vietnam, an imminent ice age, drugs, muscle cars and a poor economy, but we did have responsible adults that refused to coddle us. Yes there were things that needed to be addressed but perpetual victimhood was not encouraged. Overcoming hardship and adversity was a virtue as it should be today.

I'm not discouraged, there are some amazing young people who have these same values. They still perceive me as an old guy but they do have a handle on life and reject taking the easy way out. I admire them, they give me hope for our future. I'm middle aged if I live to be 140 so the future is theirs. 

As I leave this world to them a backpacking rule for campsites comes to mind. Always leave it cleaner then when you arrived and make sure the fire is completely extinguished. I feel like we are leaving a smoldering campfire, maybe we could have done a better job. 

three hundred sixty two

 

Salem Ohio
Underground Railroad

This is a house built in 1855 by John Street a Quaker Abolitionist. The house had a windowless basement with a secret entrance through a cabinet by the side entrance. There was originally a tunnel to a house across the street. There was an elaborate system of 14 houses to secretly transport and hide escaped slaves on their journey to freedom. 

John Brown, a radical anti-slavery abolitionist visited and slept there many times. When I was in grade 5 and 6 I walked to school with a boy named Scott who's family owned and restored the house. I spent several nights sleeping over with Scott so I had an opportunity to crawl through the secret passages.

Scotts father was always measuring the house in search of hidden rooms, tunnels and secret entrances. His mother was angry when he broke down a wall of their bedroom and found a narrow hiding place that had since been plastered over.

Salem Ohio has only one Quaker Meeting House that I know of but there are several Friends Churches in the neighboring communities. The high school mascot was Quaker Sam and Salem is still perceived as a Quaker town.

The Salem area has over 30 churches of all denominations. Because of this Salem has a long history of human rights activism. The Ohio Women's Convention met in Salem on April 19, 1850. Salem was Ohio's center for the Woman's Suffrage movement. It was the third in a series of women's rights conventions that began with the Seneca Falls Convention of 1848. Salem was the first of these conventions to be organized on a statewide basis. 

The Salem area abolitionists were much more fanatical about ending slavery. Boycotts, printing and distributing literature and making speeches were just not enough. They took a more active role risking financial loss, prison or worse. The Ku Klux Klan a secret military arm of the Democratic Party not only whipped and hung escaping slaves, they did the same to the abolitionists who helped them. They did this legally and illegally. 

The Democrat controlled congress passed the Fugitive Slave Act in 1850 this further inflamed the abolitionist passion. 


Captain John Brown took a more radical approach to ending slavery. He wanted to arm slaves so they could over throw their slave masters. Harpers Ferry armory located 60 miles from Washington DC was the site of his infamous raid. It was a failed attempt but it sparked the spread of the abolitionist movement.

Edwin Coppock
This is a relative on my mother's side of the family. There were several who served as Quaker preachers. I'm not aware of any practicing Quakers in my family today. Edwin and other family members were influenced by Captain John Brown. 

Edwin's passions for the liberty of his fellow man may have been foolhardy but this passion is not uncommon in the area where I grew up. A few of his brothers who were devout Quaker pacifists felt serving in the Union Army to fight against slavery more important. Edwin was executed for his involvement in the raid on December 16, 1859, he was 24 years old. 

Growing up there I didn't know much about the rich history of Salem. I knew about Veterans, the Underground Railroad and the Quaker abolitionists. Like anything in your hometown you take it for granted. 

On a visit I noticed a group on a guided tour, It was a black history tour but I'm not sure where it originated. Salem now has a tour trolly that offers year round tours. 

 
In my generation there were other unspoken acts of kindness. As a young child my parents bought groceries at the A&P grocery store. They bought what we needed then an extra loaf of bread, butter, eggs and canned goods. On the way home they would drop them off by the junk yard where they stored the old retired trolly cars. It was a spooky place because you could see figures of people in the cars. The windows were dirty so they were just dark silhouettes. 

My parents would not knock or wait, they just left the bag of groceries and drove away. One time I looked back and saw a man all dressed in heavy winter clothes with his face covered come out to pickup the bag. Kids or teenagers never bothered them, they knew to respected their privacy. There was probably more to the story but today there is no one to ask.

I did learn many of these men were WWI combat veterans and many were disfigured nerve and mustard gas victims. I witnessed for many years random people unceremoniously dropping things off to keep them fed and clothed. Once my dad dropped off a carton of cigarets. For some reason these thing were never talked about because it was just something people did. Believe it or not random acts of kindness were not invented by Oprah. 

My dad was a veteran of WWII as were many of the men his age. The American flag was held in reverence, as the flag passed by, everyone stood up, all hats came off, hands over hearts and veterans would salute. 

My generation became indifferent, even disrespectful but I saw the look in those men's eyes as the flag passed by. Many had tears fueled by memories I did not understand. 

I looked at my brother and other young men and women who served in Vietnam. They were there as soldiers to defend the South Vietnamese people from Communism. However their compassion and acts of kindness for the people in the midst of this war was not the image the media wanted to report. Instead they were portrayed as vicious baby killers. 

Oliver Stone rewrote history with his propaganda movies. If he wanted to tell the truth about the mismanagement fine but he attacked the young men and women who served there. Even today combat veterans are portrayed as broken and damaged. Some are but this constant mischaracterization does nothing to heal them.The politicians may have had other goals but the soldiers were there for the people. 

In Vietnam our government betrayed and abandoned the people who helped and befriended us. Another recent disgrace was our reckless withdrawal from Afghanistan, good people died and are still dying for a tough guy victory speech. 



Bold promises were made by our politicians but our young soldiers were the ones ordered to look the people we were betraying in the eyes as we were abandoning them. Listening to these soldiers, I believe this was as traumatic if not more then any of the violence they witnessed. 


World War II American soldier


Korean War American soldier



Vietnam American soldiers


Iraq War American soldier



Afganistan American soldier

These young people fighting thousands of miles from home and families were not motivated by bigotry and hatred. Their self sacrifice for strangers achieved more then any of our Ambassadors, Generals, our Secretary of State or our Presidents. They were in daily direct contact with the people.

Selective outrage, stirring racism, a blind eye to current slavery and a tolerance of the oppression of women throughout the world is also a disgrace. A steady flow of distorted history, emotional arguments and any overpaid so called expert with an opinion. All of these break my heart. 
 
I don't know if it was in the water, influenced by the many churches or we were just idealistic and naive, but we have a sense of duty and honor. Don't get me wrong I don't claim everyone has the conviction of these men and women who put everything on the line, but this is one place where they came from. 

Researching a little of my own history has helped me understand why my heart breaks today. The brave men and women and the people who helped them risked their lives for liberty and freedom. The bull shit slogans the press and politicians throw around today ring hollow in comparison.

In or out of the churches the community conscience  included this basic principle.

John 3:12-13
"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."

We got a dose of hard work, responsibility, service, equality and a sense of duty to help the oppressed. Asking for help is difficult and being called a victim is an insult. 

I'm not claiming the people from this area are better then others, but to label them as racist, stupid and unsophisticated shows a lack of any attempt to take an honest look at history. 

I don't always completely follow through with my convictions but at least I have them. Sadly the things I have described will never register with the enlightened.

three hundred sixty one


Quote - Definitely NOT  President Joe Biden

three hundred sixty


SECRET HIDEOUTS

Every boy wants a secret hideout. It's a place for boys to fart, play with matches, tell dirty jokes, practice swear words and spitting, smoke a cigarette smuggled out of a parents pack, look at a Playboy magazine found under an older brother’s mattress or drink a beer stolen from the corner store. 

The first neighborhood secret club I remember was when I was around six or seven. Mrs England our widow next door neighbor lived in a large two story victorian house surrounded with large Rhododendron bushes. Between her house and the bushes created a really cool place to hide. We had a secret place where no-one could see us. 

Little boys pee everywhere so it was naturally a great place to pee. The secret lasted until my mother told me at dinner that Mrs England called and wants us to stop peeing in her bushes, busted.


In spite of this we continued to hide out in her bushes. One day I went to the spot we designated as our peeing area. As I started to pee I heard a tapping noise so I looked up. There she was looking right at me as she shook her finger. Unfortunately the spot we picked to pee was directly under her bay window. That was our last day in that spot.

Another spot was near my great grandparents house. There was an A&P grocery store next door. The parking lot was built on a spoil pile from an old coal mine. We discovered it was easy to dig a cave under the black top. Over the summer it grew larger and more elaborate. It was in a place it would not flood. Most of our cave dwellings lasted until the first hard rain.

Because it was on the edge of the parking lot no one noticed it because no one parked over it. One day an employee drove his new pickup truck to work. To avoid door dings he parked on the edge of the parking lot directly over our cave. By lunch time the blacktop had heated in the hot summer sun and the truck dropped into the hole. 

It made the news paper and every kid in the neighborhood was questioned. No one squealed, an early test of the snitches get stitches rule.


We built huts with straw bails. We built plenty of temporary shelters in the woods because they are really temporary. 


We found a shack deep in the woods. We assumed it was abandoned but it had hundreds of empty white port wine bottles in piles. There were a couple of chairs and random junk. It was a great place to get warm and hang out. 

One Saturday morning we met at the shack to find Al Gallespie the local town drunk passed out on the floor. At first we thought he was dead but he woke up yelling. So much for our secret hideout.


We lived on a wooded lot next to an apple orchard. There was a large Oak tree on the tree line. I'm not sure how it happened but my dad out of the blue offered to build a tree house. This was out of character for my dad I usually had to bug him about letting me build something. 

Looking back I think my dad was tapping into his own childhood fantasy. He grew up during the depression so as a child he had to work. One job he told me about was digging through the shale piles that came out of the Pennsylvania coal mines to find the small lumps of coal they had missed. I know he didn't have the care free childhood I experienced.

He used the excuse that he wanted to make sure it was safe but he sure had a twinkle in his eye and smile on his face. The platform was 35 feet off of the ground. It had a trap door entrance. Two wooden ladders were lashed to the tree trunk to climb the tree safely. By todays standards this would be child endangerment. 


I think because of the danger nobody ever got hurt, Rolf and I slept in it many summer nights. Climbing the ladder was frightening at night so we usually went up at dusk and didn't come down until morning. I spent many hours watching the leaves, birds and clouds.  

I grew older and lost interest in my tree house. I had discovered cars and girls so my hiding place shifted to my car. The ladders had been taken down to store in the shed to get them out of the weather. Years after I moved out, on a visit I noticed what was left of my tree house. I climbed the tree one last time to take it down. 

My father had passed away so the memories of our time working on our treehouse came rushing back. Of all of my secret hideouts this was the best, that includes my cars. 





Tree houses still fascinate me. I could see living in one someday. I have a coffee table book of amazing tree houses from around the world. I turn into a little boy again every time I look through it.