three hundred fifty nine

GHOULARDI  

Video link...TURN BLUE-THE SHORT LIFE OF GHOULARDI

I was born and raised in Ohio. I lived on the Ohio side of the West Virginia and Pennsylvania border about 60 miles from Pittsburg and 60 miles from Cleveland. 

In 1963 I was twelve years old. Television was still black and white, there were only five VHF channels and five UHF channels depending on the quality of your antenna. Because of the mountains around Pittsburg most powerful VHF stations were out of Cleveland. Their local news, weather and sports broadcasts made us feel like we were living in Cleveland. Even the radio stations we listen to were out of Cleveland. 

Most television stations shut down their transmitters and signed off after the late news. In 1957 Universal released a collection of 52 cheesy horror movies from the 1930's. The package was called Shock Theater. Across the country local stations created movie hosts to expand their late night broadcasting hours. 

These movies were really bad but new to television audiences. WJW-TV8 tried running them with little success. In 1963 Ernie Anderson was under contract as an ABC booth announcer. Previously he had been fired from other jobs for his rule breaking behavior. He had made fun of a sponsor for being in a barber shop quartet, made on air comments about management and rode his motorcycle through the station and into the managers office.

He already had a successful gig as an announcer but for seventy five more bucks he took on the job. He created a character called Ghoulardi a weirdo beatnik professor. Because of the late hour management ignored what they were doing so they had the freedom to do just about anything. 

I was 11 years old when I first saw Ghoulardi, I had to sneak down the creaky wooden stairs to the living room. We were renting an old two story house while our new house was being built. The Beetles were on Ed Sullivan but to an eleven year old a guy blowing things up on live TV was way cooler.

Within weeks the need to see Ghoulardi at eleven o'clock on Friday night was every kids priority. We slept at anyones house who had cool or unaware parents so we could see what this guy was going to do next. If you missed it you were out of the loop because everyone was talking about it. He was like our cool uncle who said and did things our parents would not approve.

One Friday I had a friend over so we were secretly watching Ghoulardi. My dad walked in, he watched the first few minutes, shook his head and then went to bed. Finally I was free to watch at home. 

The show became a local phenomenon with kids. After Shock Theater he ran the original Buck Rogers series. This took cheesy to a new level. He mocked the movies, edited himself into scenes and spent most of his time opening fan mail and doing bits.

We had our own language, the center chest salute from Buck Rogers and a collective urge to rebel. Ghoulardi was a beatnik, he hated rock and roll, loved big band music and believed in pure freedom. I think I got some of my question authority from him. I unfortunately got my "hold my beer and watch this" attitude from him too. 

He made fun of Parma, a Polish suburb of Cleveland. The city leaders were irritated but the younger residents took it on as an identity. Frank Yankovich Polka Varieties, Polish festivals and pink flamingos, Parma took pride in being a Polish village. 

Frank Yankovich had a Saturday program with fifty blue collar polka dancers. Live music, dancing and a lot of off camera drinking. When the red camera light came on they all crashed into each other to get in the camera frame. I watched it just for that. 

Today if I notice a guy wearing white socks I laugh to myself, that was a Ghoulardi inside Parma joke from over fifty years ago. In high school I went to Parma for a high school basketball tournament, the whole school was wearing white socks as a symbol of pride and solidarity. 

The Parma Mayor and a few Councilmen claimed the city was offended but the average Parma citizen embraced the joke and ran with it. Parma Place was an ongoing spoof based on Payton Place with a Polish twist and a Polish western called The Kielbasa Kid, both written by the producer Charles Schodowski.

Today any hint of ethnic humor is frowned on. Sure a few got their feathers ruffled but we knew the difference between a joke and a real insult. People still know the difference but being the victim is the new way of demanding attention. Fortunately most spoiled children grow out of this.

These were the days of Pollock jokes. His were focused on silly habits,  unusual customs and their fashion sense but never about their hygiene, morals or intelligence. Todays humor is mean, saying someone is ugly, stupid and immoral is just a cover for hurtful personal insults. I think Pollock jokes needed to go away, they got highjacked and became mean spirited cruel and degrading insults. 

Ghoulardi reached out into the community. They raised a quarter of a million dollars for kids who needed operations, families in crisis and other local causes. They played other stations, news papers, schools, city officials, police, firemen and social clubs. Rumors that alcohol was occasionally consumed led them to have an official team bus equipped with a sober driver.

The city embraced his antics but management tolerated it because of the 27 share rating, the network Tonight Show only had a 7. They tried to rein him in but he owned the city. 

The Ghoulardi show was only on the air for three and a half years before Ernie got bored and got his break in Hollywood. Ernie’s former partner Tim Conway cleared the way to get him very lucrative voice over work. Ernie was finally using his real gift, his voice. 

The show was handed over to Houlihan and Big Chuck, then Big Chuck and Little John and then a failed attempt to remake the Ghoulardi show by his son. Eventually network programing took over, it was the end of an era.

Drew Carry who is from Cleveland used the local humor in his popular Drew Carry Show. If you weren't from the Cleveland area you didn't get some of his jokes. From the Ghoulardi shirt, Cleveland Browns and Indians inside jokes, cracks about Pittsburg, foods, drinking styles and the backyard pool table all were things you only see in Cleveland.

Like any home town there are traditions, inside jokes, ethnic influences  and local personalities. Comedians and media regularly use Cleveland as a punch line and the brunt of jokes, most of then are mean spirited insults. I take great pride in being from the Cleveland area because I know the character of the people.

Cleveland is a diverse community with a cross section of America. The rich cultures, community traditions and endless loyalty to three average sports franchises. The Ghoulardi phenomenon was as much a product of the city as it was an influence. Ghoulardi in all of his weirdness understood and revered Cleveland.

Reading about and remembering my years with Ghoulardi made me think about how much I was effected. I also wonder how much he revealed that was already there.

My work ethic, sense of irreverent humor, my need to question authority and a sense of duty to keep my promises and help people came from somewhere. Under the surface the Ghoulardi family had Midwest values with a coating of crazy. We all got a dose from simply identifying with the Cleveland community.

As children we were raised on Captain Penny and Barnaby watching Popeye cartoons, the Three Stooges and Little Rascals. As we entered adolescence Ghoulardi was way cooler but he still understood he was influencing kids. 

Under all of the outrageousness Ernie Anderson had a moral compass. No he wasn't a wise teacher or inspiring leader he was a grown man having fun. As a kid it gave me hope that growing up was not as boring as I thought it would be. The world needs a Tyler Durden, Big Lebowski and Ghoulardi to make life interesting. 

The sense of community we had in the 60s and 70s crossed all ethnic, racial and economic lines we were all Americans and we were from Cleveland. I'm hoping we can get back to again feeling like a family, weird cool uncles and all.

TURN BLUE!

More video links  1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5

three hundred fifty eight

DARK SKY

Throughout man's history the sun, moon and stars have dictated our outdoor activity. When the sun rose we began our day and when the sun set we ended our day. Out of our shelters the only source of light were the stars and moon. The dark star filled sky above them caused them to ponder the vastness of the universe. 

Stars were used for navigation, worship and determining the seasons.  Comets, meteor showers and eclipses were witnessed by everyone. Today we may have an App on our phone to tell us exactly when and where these things will happen, but we rarely take the time.

The use of fire gave warmth, food preparation and light but it was limited to one central location.

Torches were created by using animal fats and some tree extracts. This made them mobile but they were still very limited.

Oil lamps had both mobility and duration, most used olive oil.

Candles were used and are still popular. Early candles were created using animal tallow and bees wax. Today there is an entire industry but most candles are used for atmosphere and special occasions. Even candles have been replaced by battery operated candles to limit indoor pollution.

Kerosene lamps are adjustable, mobil and long lasting. I have camped with one many times. I had a collection of the indoor style. In the winter they can actually heat a small room.

  

Along came the electric grid, indoor lighting soon was in the majority of homes. The incandescent light bulb allowed industry to operate twenty four hours a day. Even areas without access to the electric grid may have solar panels, long lasting batteries and converters.  

The original use of light was focused on our indoor use. Outdoor lighting was on porches to see who was at the door or find the key hole.

Street lights were common in larger cities but they were simply to see where we are going. I lived in the country when there were no outdoor lights at all. Finally a neighbor put a Mercury Vapor security light in his front yard, I hated that thing. One stupid light ruined my night time view of the stars.

Soon everyone had one of these lighting their back yards like a football stadium. Street lights turned night to day. Car headlights became brighter and brighter and flashlights got into a lumen war. What's next night time light protection lotion?

 Cities are lighted so much many people are completely unaware that there are stars. This is good for safety and night time activities but I don't believe man being so separated from the majesty of the night time sky is healthy for our souls.

The view of the US from space reveals how civilization has embraced lighting. It must be a beautiful sight from the International Space Station but from earth we only see the limited world around us. 

I recently found a Dark Sky app that maps out the places on the earth not effected by light pollution. If you look closely at the east half of the country there is very little "Dark Sky". 

On my trips across the country I found many star filled nights. Sleeping under the stars is my all time favorite. In fact I rarely have a campfire because it ruins my night vision. If I have my short wave radio I'm away from electronic noise. 

I can spend hours pondering the universe while scanning international broadcasts. I once tuned into a shortwave transmission from the International Space Station while I could see it streak through the heavens. 

I get a kick out of fine tuning a SSB ham radio signal from half way around the world. This doesn't seem like a big deal today now that we have the internet, if I knew his phone number I could just call him on my cell phone.  

This was a passion of mine when I lived in the country but living in the city there is just too much electronic background noise. Most of this noise is from the newer energy saving light bulbs.

Fortunately I live only 20 or 30 miles from an ideal dark sky area. I plan to do a few nights in an isolated spot, drinking coffee, scanning the radio bands and pondering the mystery of the universe. 

I will find a perfect clear no moon meteor shower night. I'll take my scooter, camp chair, radio, monocular, camp stove and sleeping bag. I will also take a red head lamp so I can read my Bible and ponder his words.........

God put all of this above us as proof of his existence and power. It is good to know how insignificant we are in the whole scheme of things. 

Without occasionally acknowledging where we stand, we can forget and focus on our meaningless differences. It is good for a man to feel how truly small he is. 

We can also ponder how the same God who created all of this as an afterthought cares enough about us that he listens to our individual prayers. 

Being away from all distraction, prayer is easier. I can not only pray, I can stop and quietly listen for his answers. 

three hundred fifty seven

 

BIRD DRAMA

The neighborhood I live in is on the edge of a large wilderness. A mile to the east starts a high desert all of the way to the Idaho border. Streams, hills, valleys and lush ranch land with a mix of pines and Juniper trees. The volcanic nature of the terrain is similar to the Hawaiian Big Island. We have no traffic noise or pedestrians other then dog walkers. It seems like there is nothing going on but if you pay close attention there is plenty of drama. 

It's winter in central Oregon so I feed the birds in the neighborhood. Small birds hide in our thorny shrubs for protection from larger birds and the local cat. They take turns popping in and out to raid the feeder. I enjoy watching their system. 

Like most flock birds, every bird is a look out but a select few hold back to watch the area while other birds pull the seed out so it drops to the ground. This creates a larger open area where more birds can eat and there are more escape routes. 

This goes on until the doves show up but most of the small birds just ignore them. The bullies in the neighborhood are the Bluejays. Last summer there were four young ones living in the tree close to the feeder. 

The young ones are as large as the adults but their feathers are not filled in completely. The mother Bluejay would sit on the peak of our roof to yell directions and warnings. When they are around they run the show but I haven't seen any in a couple months. 

Robbins show now and then but they are usually alone. I have seen Quail in my yard, they don't seem to be very bright. I pulled into my driveway, opened the garage door, they panicked and ran into my garage. I had to get out of the car and chase them out.

A gaggle of crows occasionally roars into the neighborhood like an outlaw biker gang. They stay for a few hours to scavenge then they roar back out. 

The state has several types of predator birds. I occasionally see Eagles but mostly Red Tailed Hawks. This one was hanging out on the railing outside my wife's hospital room. The hospital is only a couple blocks from our home.

There is one, maybe the same one, that sits in the very top of a tree about two hundred feet down the street. The birds are aware of this so when there are no birds around our feeder I look to see if one is there. 

Most people only see a few birds and they don't see the constant battles for food, territory, nesting and mating. They may notice the more vicious battles but most think the bird kingdom is all peace and harmony. 

Birds are amazing creatures. They are direct descendants of dinosaurs with feathers. We have had birds as pets for years. Our first birds were when we lived in San Francisco. There was an exotic bird store close to my work. I started to walk through it a few times a week when I went to the post office. They boarded birds so many were mature parrots that could talk. 

My wife had a cat that died before we met. I'm allergic to cats and a dog wasn't practical so we started to think about a bird. They had just received two male Derbyan Parakeets. They were still in an incubator and required hand feeding. 

 We decided to buy one that we named Elvis, but the other one looked so lonely we bought him too and named him Ringo. 

They are larger birds but are called parakeets because of their long tails. Their markings were stunning. They were very timid and were bonded to each other unfortunately they weren't very interactive with us. The did talk a little and could be handled but mostly they tolerated us.

 

We had them for two years when we moved to Hawaii. The permits, quarantines, inspections and extra tickets were expensive. Two weeks after we arrived they were stressed from the long isolation and plane flight and their cage had not arrived. One morning they made a break for it and escaped. 

This was so unusual because they were afraid of the outside and open doors. They stayed in the area for three days saying "I love you" but they would not come down from the mango tree. 

At around five in the morning on a Sunday I heard their distinct morning calls. I saw them across the street in a mango tree. I know they saw me but then they did one last fly over and headed for a macadamia farm up the mountain.

We searched for months, put up flyers, played recordings of their calls and followed several dead end leads. The good thing is they are young, together, their wings weren't clipped and they were healthy. 

Hawaii has an abundance of food the year around, there are very few predators other than mongooses but Elvis and Ringo are tree top birds so they are never on the ground. We thought if they survived the first few weeks they should be okay.

I ask myself the question, thirty or forty years in captivity or five, ten or more years in the wild, which one would I prefer? We miss them and always will but we have hopes that they are thriving in their tropical paradise. 

The locals say there are fresh water pools and caves high on the 8250 foot high peak of the Hualalai dormant volcano high above Kailua. They say there are  hundreds of exotic birds of all kinds up there. I never hiked up to see, the locals warned me not to because locals liked their privacy, don't like outsiders and have guns. 

A few years later we still miss them but we still wanted a pet. The local big box pet store had several Conures. They were so small when we brought them home they could squeeze through the bars of their cage. They could not fly yet so they could only climb around but it didn't stop Frankie the female from stealing jewelry and hiding it in her cage. 

They are both Conures but different types. Marty Feldman, the classic dark green male. He is smaller, grumpy and a perpetual lover. Frankie is a female Green Cheek Conure. She is the dominant one and bent on world domination. Parrots bond to particular people but they still interact with us both.

Frankie has become my stalker girlfriend now that she has laid eggs a few times. She has always bossed Marty around but now she is attempting to run the house. She is constantly into everything.

Open cupboards, open drawers, freezer, refrigerator, dish washer, washing machine, dryer, flushing toilets and empty pitchers if you leave them on the counter. 

Marty is a curmudgeon he loves to eat and really enjoys his bath time. He has a history of flying into walls, windows and doors and has actually knocked himself out a couple of times.

They do team up and go on what I call adventures. They are like children, if they are quiet they are into something. They might be shredding a roll of toilet paper in the back bathroom, throwing everything off of my office desk, popping the buttons out of my key board or hiding in any dark place they can find. 

They don't talk, do tricks, stay quiet when you are on the phone and yes they will chew the edges of the book you are reading. They are just cute and part of the family. The personalities, instincts to lay and take care of eggs, and warn us if danger is interesting to watch. 

We don't want to raise birds so we replace her eggs with fake eggs.  She knows something is up so she gives us the stink eye for a couple days. They are moody, hold grudges, cuddle inside your shirt and let you know when they are ready for bed. 

There is bird drama everywhere including on my key board. Today they want my full attention and don't want me to type. 

They are both in their cage now because she nipped my finger (crazy stalker girlfriend). She knows what she did and flies to her cage and he just follows. I'll let them out in an hour and they will behave for the rest of the day. Bird drama.....