three hundred thirty two

Faith, what is it exactly?

I have heard many descriptions and definitions of faith. The one that fits my logical brain is simple, God is faithful to his word, if he says he will do something, he will do it.

People, including me are not always faithful, we make appointments, commitments, promises, pledge our allegiance, sign contracts and swear oaths but in our weakness we don't always keep them. 

We have good intentions and even think we are being faithful but we deceive ourselves by rationalizing, redefining and creating elaborate and convincing excuses for falling short. This is the difference between us and God, God does not lie or fall short, ever.

Faithfulness is what God has looked for in man from creation. Unfortunately because of our flawed nature man cannot be consistently faithful, we need his help.

The Bible is filled with personal testimony about God's faithfulness. The covenant or deal God offers and keeps with nations, groups and individuals is proof of his faithfulness. 

No, there are no recordings, video, photographs or signed documents. Just personal testimony written in history and the Bible. In a court of law personal eye witness testimony is considered proof of innocents or guilt, physical evidence is not always required.

 

For many centuries after these testimonies were written and handed down, billions of others have had the personal experience of God's faithfulness. I am one of those people.

God has a different timeline and a much larger purpose so at times it can feel that he is not being faithful to his word. We don't see the big picture because we measure the physical world in linear time. God does not have these limitations. He calls himself "I am" for a reason, he sees all time at once. 

Many of God's promises are not fulfilled during the life span of the people he promised but he does fulfill them to the following generations. 

We live in an instant society today so it is even more difficult to grasp the larger picture. Because things do not happen on our schedule is not proof it will not happen. Some have used this as proof God does not exist. The more immature society becomes the more we look at God as being aloof, unfair and unfaithful. We do this to a point that we can deny his very existence. Many have sadly reached this point. 

This is where I draw my own limits of understanding how God works. I will not waste my time speculating the everyday details of how he works but I do know his motives. God has clearly revealed them. He simply wants to know us and he wants to be known. 

There are some things around us that I believe are here to teach us. How animals behave, how plants grow, the weather and so on. Everything teaches us something if we take the time to see it.

We grow crops, raise livestock and utilize the things God has put here to sustain us so we can see the constant recycling of life. We feel joy, sorrow, jealousy, peace, comfort, hate, loss and love. He gave us dogs to teach us to morn, children to remember how to wonder and the creation to marvel at it's intricacy and beauty.

 We live in the middle of the greatest pile of physical evidence ever imagined to prove there is a Creator, but I still hear debates and declarations of how God is irrelevant and does not exist.

We have reached a point where to say "I believe God exists" is a bold statement. This watered down statement has become socially acceptable as a declaration of faith. Many have shifted their claim of faith to the word "spirituality". This throws a wide net over every warm and fuzzy feeling.  Worshiping the creation not the one who created it allows them to remain in charge.  

Stating that you believe in some sort of  invisible being is not faith, but  trusting what that being promises is faith. It is rare today that these promises are discussed because they involve yielding our will and observing moral rights and wrongs.

It is ironic that we sometimes feel God pops in and out of existence depending on whether we believe he exists or not. The ones working the hardest to talk themselves and others out of this belief are usually well educated fools. The real question isn't if we believe God exists it is if we believe God.

The chair faith illustration is an example of how we put our trust into something as common as a chair. We plop down our full weight without a second thought. Yes it is a physical thing but it is an example of complete physical trust. 

All He asks is that we accept his covenant and do our best to keep it. In a future post I will describe how he provides everything we need to stay faithful to that covenant. 

I know this is my bicycle blog but life circumstances have brought these issues to the forefront. My reliance on my faith has me embracing life to the fullest and no longer hiding from it. I want others to know the peace I have found in the chaos of life.

I write down my thoughts for two reasons. One is for me to sort them out as I look at them in black and white, and the other is to reveal them to others so in some way they may help.

I will end with this....

Jude 24 To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy—

P.S.

Yes, my faith is in the God of the Bible. I believe God has communicated with man through inspired individuals to write down what has happened, the history of his interaction with man and the way man can have a relationship through the offering of a covenant. I believe God lives in those who enter into that covenant. I don't do well with feelings so the nuts and bolts of his parties, terms, promises and curses agreement makes sense to me. I find security in relying on this covenant and my daily interaction with his spirit that lives in me. I just trust and get out of the way. 

three hundred thirty one

HAPPY HOLIDAYS? 

It's December 7, 2022 in Bend Oregon, a daily fresh covering of snow, houses decorated with thousands of lights and a dozen wild deer wander the neighborhood. Television, radio and the internet are flooded with the usual holiday sales and commercials.

This holiday season I have a few friends who have lost loved ones, a few who are entangled in legal and financial issues and a few who face life threatening disease. I also have a few friends who have excellent physical health, happy and healthy families, personal success, loving marriages and wealth. 

It is not new that holidays turn up the volume on everything. If life is going well for a person, the holiday season should amplify their happiness but if their life is filled with problems, it should amplify their unhappiness. This seems logical but why do people with everything going for them suffer from the holiday blues? Why do people with every reason to be depressed experience amazing holiday cheer?

This is an age old enigma I have observed all through my retail career. Dealing with people during unguarded moments while shopping or riding in the back of a cab or bus reveals a lot.

Wealthy or poor, blue or white collar, university or life educated, old or new money, young or old, religious or secular, most ethnic groups   and lifestyles, they all shop for food or ride in a cab or bus. I had the perfect vantage point of an employee. During these unguarded moments they can completely ignore me, view me as a servant or see me as a person. None of these are right or wrong but it does reveal how they view strangers.

The most fun job I ever had.

I enjoy people and I love to talk and at times I talk too much. I have learned some people just want to be left alone and some enjoy talking. This can be for many reasons, shyness, nervousness, snobbishness or they just want quiet. I understand this because I'm a grumpy shopper. I'm not in a bad mood I'm just quiet. I guess I still have flash backs from over 40 years of retail.

The one thing I've learned from the people who did interact was that everyone has problems. My first impression may lead me to assume they have their life together but in a short conversation they may soon reveal they suffer loneliness, grief, loss or fear. 

The measuring game is a natural human pastime. We see another persons circumstances and assume they have it together. We all put on a front to look good. Some call this hypocrisy but I think it is projection. Negativity may be how we feel inside but there is a time and place to reveal this. Putting on a good front pretending to feel they way we want to feel is not what I call hypocrisy. 

A therapist, AA meeting, coffee with a trusted friend or a no risk conversation with a cab driver can be a safe place to let this out. 

Well, maybe not all cab drivers....

There are generational differences, my generation is more stoic and private with our emotions and negative thoughts. Younger generations are more comfortable sharing every negative thought and feeling with the world on social media.

The question is this, do we get our feelings from our circumstances or from inside of us. Is it a spiritual thing, a perspective thing, a group  thing or all three? I think it is all three. 

Spiritually I get my joy from within. 

Phil 4:7 "...and the peace and joy which transcends all understanding will guard our hearts and minds is in Christ Jesus". 

This is something I can't explain but I can describe. Since March 31, 1980 I have had the presence of God in my heart and mind. I have been different from that moment. I have felt loneliness but I have never been alone, I have been sad but deep within there as always been joy. I forget or cover this up because I can be self centered  but it has always been and will be there.

Perspective is a tool I use. In the middle of a self centered pity party I step back and take a look at the big picture. Where I'm looking seems so unimportant in the whole scheme of things once I remember what is important.

Pier pressure is powerful. If I hang out with negative people I'll be negative. If I hang out with positive people I tend to be more positive. Today negativity is everywhere. Turn on what they call news and the hate and negativity can overwhelm you. I get a five minute update on the media soap opera and shut it off. I then find a book on tape or a podcast to expand my knowledge. I avoid preachy movies, talk shows and award shows. I love sports but I'm only following Formula One racing because of all of the woke politics in every other sport. 

(I would follow World Cup Soccer but what's the point if the game can end in a tie?)

I stay informed but I do not immerse myself in every detail, every interview, every analysis or every opinion. I research events myself and make up my own mind. Avoiding the "spin" actually gives me better clarity and perspective. A great deal of my peace and joy comes from seeing how little the daily events matter in the whole scheme of things.

The Holiday season has become commercialized, secularized and now politicized but we have a choice as to how we celebrate it. No matter your spiritual beliefs the holidays are about people not stuff. Take that moment to look at a stranger and genuinely say hello and take an extra second to look at them. We all yearn to be seen and heard by another person, it just takes someone to make the first move.

three hundred thirty

I encourage everyone to do three basic things, think for yourself, seek what is true and to trust facts not feelings. This has been a theme of my previous posts but I don't think this can be said enough. 

Everyone has feelings but not everyone has the curiosity or the discipline to search for facts that may contradict their feelings. Conmen, propagandists and cult leaders thrive in this environment . Manipulating the masses by their feelings has become main stream today.  

Feeling emotions to their fullest is what is special about life. I have experienced love beyond imagination and have had my heart broken. I have felt the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. I have felt absolute fear and the soothing safety of a protector. The ups and downs of emotions is the spice of life. 

I believe our need to love and to feel loved is what I think God means when He says we are made in his image. Like the need for food, clothing and shelter the need to love and bond is vital to human survival. All of these require a balance but sometimes we get out of balance.

It has become common today that emotions are valued above facts. We hear things like "my truth" or "my reality" and somehow this becomes a valid argument. It has become acceptable that feelings have become arguments that counter proven facts. 

It takes little effort to live in a world of emotion. We take in the world around us and simply feel, no research, investigation or questioning. Combine this with pier pressure and the silencing of those who sight proven facts, we have a society that is drifting from feeling to feeling.

This may explain why there is such a divide in opinions. One side feels  and accuses the other side that they don't care because they sight facts. It is true that empathy, fear and sadness requires a response so we hear pleas to "do something"! The other side looks at cause and effect, laws, rights and results. How a person feels about a document doesn't change what it says. 

Debate is almost nonexistent today. It is hard to argue with feelings. Feelings can change from moment to moment and person to person so feelings are like jello, they are hard to nail down. Polls are sighted as if they are facts but they only prove a majority of people feel a similar way. On the other hand pure legalistic arguments can sometimes be heartless and cruel, there needs to be a balance.

 

We should not blindly trust feelings or blindly trusting facts. We all need to learn how to value both.  

I will admit I have learned not to trust feelings because I was deceived by my own feelings for many years. 

When I was lost in my struggle with alcohol I thought I was a logical thinking person but under the surface I was being controlled by my feelings. I knew for a fact my drinking had become a problem so I would swear off drinking but find myself drunk by the end of the day. 

This went on until I thought I was crazy. I found help with the 12 steps and other sober alcoholics. I learned I was subconsciously making emotional decisions based on pure feelings, fear, anger, worry and hate. Being comfortably numb most of the time I was deceived by my emotions.

I had to learn to set my emotions aside and trust basic facts to stay sober. This took some time to learn, so I now fall on the side of questioning every feeling. After practicing this for 32 years it is how I think today.

I'm not a smarter or better person, I just learned to question my emotions as a mode of survival. I still get caught up in a too good to be true sales scheme now and then, follow an emotional argument for a while and believe a politician for a millisecond, but eventually I find myself peaking behind the curtain. 

This post won't change the world or heal the divide in society but it might get at few people to think. I have seen this as a major problem all through history. Short term, emotions usually win out over facts, but eventually the facts can no longer be ignored because of the eventual consequences. 

The pendulum swings eventually but unfortunately it can sometimes be too late. I trust in the one fact that is constant, God is in control. I can want people and things to go the way I think they should but I can only control my own behavior. 

Our society is hurting today, I'm part of the "If it feels good do it " generation so I have no moral high ground to stand on. I do however think there is a quiet movement that none of us can see going on in the background. History has shown us that people only change when things get difficult.  

three hundred twenty nine

 THE SMELL OF A BASEBALL GLOVE

This post is for the young boys in old bodies. 

When I was a kid baseball was as popular as video games are to kids today. Boys played baseball endlessly on the school yard, in city parks, cow patty mined pastures or any empty lot we could find with or without permission. 

We collected baseball cards, pretended to be our favorite player and played until it was too dark to see the ball. Life was different because we weren't distracted by modern technology. We didn't miss video games or social media because they had not been invented.

The one item that connects me to those days is the smell of a baseball glove, a strange combination of leather, sweat and dirt. There are a few baseball movies that I watch when I have had my fill of politics. Bull Durum, Major League, The Love Of The Game, The Natural, Money Ball, Bad News Bears and Field Of Dreams are just a few. I listen to baseball books on tape and when I have an opportunity, watch a live game. 

I love the game of baseball but I have lost interest in the Major League. The egos, BLM, wokeness and endless politics just got old, baseball is to be an escape from all of that crap. I love a well coached little league game, a local softball game, a high school and some college games because they are still immune from most of that BS.

My baseball glove was an old style infield mitt, it's now buried with my Father along with a well worn Rawlings baseball. 

I didn't always get along with my Dad but the one place where we never disagreed was while we were having a catch. A catch with my Dad was a very special event, we were just a boy and his Dad and a Dad and his boy. It did not require a conversation just a place, a ball and two gloves.

The game of baseball has many parallels to life, every play has a life lesson. Every play can make you a heel or a hero. You had to learn to endure and thrive in the spotlight. 

There is no place to hide in baseball, eventually you are the focus of everyones attention. Everything is clear, you get a hit or you strike out, you make the catch or you miss it and you are either safe or you are out. However an overthrow or a throw to the wrong base will leave a mark.

To stand at the plate with a full count and bases loaded you can't just stand there. Watching your favorite pitch hit the catchers glove while you stand there is a sinking feeling. You learn quickly to at least go down swinging.

Many sayings come from baseball, keep your eye on the ball, just make contact, stay in the inning and it ain't over until it's over. Yogi Berra has coined an encyclopedia of these phrases he is worth a read.

Just talking about the scent of a well used baseball glove brings back strong memories. In fact it has me searching the vintage glove sites to find the Bob Feller glove I inherited from my older brother. 

The power of scent marks us forever. One whiff takes us back to a special moment in our lives. These are just a few of mine. 

Fresh baked bread....

The smell of the ocean....

Freshly cut hay....

Theater popcorn....

Grandpa's Cherry Blend pipe smoke....

An apple orchard in full bloom....

Hawaiian Huli Chicken....

Tomato plants....

Fresh caught salmon....

New car smell....

High desert Sage Brush after a rain...

Freshly plowed fields....

Cold morning campfire...

Leather....

Fresh beef in the walk-in....

Wild spring Watercress....

Sawdust....

Strong fresh brewed coffee....

A summer thunderstorm....

Burning rubber mixed with nitrous fumes....

and Lancome Tre'sor Perfume....

three hundred twenty eight

 

ELON MUSK 

PEES FAST

I just read the new book Elon Musk by Ashlee Vance. The book was originally a book Elon did not want written but he eventually cooperated with the author to tell the whole story. The book covers the ups and downs of his businesses and personal life warts and all.

A brilliant talented driven dreamer like Elon comes along once in a generation. He is a present day Henry Ford, Howard Hughs or Arnold Beckman. As this post is written he is ranked as the wealthiest man in the world. He owns Tesla, Space X, Neural-ink, Star Link, The Boring Company and now Twitter.

What impresses me was his all in approach to everything especially business. By all in I mean he has risked his entire fortune more than once. He bet on his ability to do what seemed impossible, delivers it under budget and before schedule. Even though he has fallen short of these goals a few times, he has delivered against all odds many more times to defy his skeptics. 

Another admirable trait is that he really doesn't let critics alter his goals. He is not afraid to make mistakes in public, failure is part of the process. He considers using time and energy to polish his public image is a waste. 

Time is his friend and his enemy. He works and plays hard with a sense of his mortality so there is no time to waste, ever. He works harder and longer then his employees and he has no problem sleeping on the floor by his desk. 

Over the decades NASA has been paralyzed by bad press so its natural that they fear making mistakes. Because of this they have lost their exploration focus and become just another bloated bureaucracy. As an agency with an annual budget they have been taken over by predator politicians. They have redirected money from the basic NASA mission to buy votes and gain more power. 

Eventually this will happen to any government program or business using government money. This may explain Elon's urgency to get things accomplished before this happens to SpaceX. I hear criticisms of SpaceX using tax dollars but I feel we are getting our moneys worth, at least for now. 

Elon recruits the best and brightest, the opportunity to work with Elon on the cutting edge of technology is the ultimate. Very few survive more then a year or two because of the job demands. They work as long as their mind and body can hold up. In spite of this former employees generally speak well of Elon.

I love how he cuts cost by reengineering existing products. He thinks out of the box and defies the established norms. Doing things for $5000 vs $150000 by using off the shelf electronic products instead of designing and building "special" space products amazes me. Imagine government spending our money with this frugal approach.

The media tries to drag him into the political world where they have an advantage but he does not play their game. He just keeps launching rockets and stays uncommitted because it would be a waste of his time and energy.

Don't get me wrong Elon is not super human, a political genius or a moral giant. He is a driven visionary who understands he needs money to accomplish his goals. He enjoys his wealth but lavishing himself in luxury is not his focus. Wealth is a tool to stretch the limits of human accomplishment.

Like many with extreme personalities I imagine he can be a bit of a jerk, impatient and ruthless. Top level competitive athletes can  perform at a super human level but not always have warm fuzzy personalities. I can admire their abilities but I don't want to hang out with them. 

He is now the CEO of Twitter with a week or so of cleaning house under his belt. Many on both sides are imposing values and politics on his every move. I think this is foolish and unfair. 

I hope he has core American values like free speech and open debate but I don't expect him to be a shill for either political party. He will figure a way to make Twitter profitable and a place for the non crazy to exchange opinions, openly debate and engage in commerce. 

I think Elon will do better to stay in his lane and avoid politics, but I do like that he pokes the bear from time to time.

To me the best line in the book was that he "pees fast". I think this captures how urgently and focused he lives his life.

three hundred twenty seven

A lesson in community...

This is my favorite television series, I have watched all four seasons several times. Each time I understand more about what the writer was trying to convey. 

The language is extremely vulgar and seems over the top but there was a historical purpose. The story line plays with history and events, adds  characters, but in general it portrays accurately the struggle to build community in a lawless frontier. 

 

The lust for gold was the dream that settled much of the west. This lust drew skilled frontier miners but most were unskilled unprepared men seeking a fast fortune from all over the world. This was followed by other opportunistic men with supplies, the means to sell the gold and entertainment for the all male population. 

They had money with no where to spend it so the entertainment was whisky, gambling and "pussy" as described by the main character Al Swearinger a knife wielding bar owner. Episode by episode introduces a character and a new problem. There was lawless chaos and violence but under the surface there was a sense of order being formed.

Open murder, claim jumping, theft and brutality were the norm but eventually a swift system of justice began to form. At first it was violent bullies enforcing order to keep the gold mines going to support the bars, gambling and cat houses. 

Civilization was slowly encroaching on this wild untamed city. Some welcomed this, some feared it and some openly resisted.

I watched a writers interview, he said Deadwood was about community. That was when I started watching with this in mind. In fact I started to look for community in other groups and organizations.

 

Humans interacting with other humans form alliances, enter into agreements and combine their resources for a common cause. This has happened throughout man's history. From the cave dwellers to the United Nations, without a common cause forcing us to work together usually ends in disaster.

There were a few openly religious characters but even the most violent characters acknowledged God. The only event that shut down the entire town was the death of a young boy. The entire community stopped to greave the loss of someone so innocent.

Deadwood with all of the chaos was guided by a basic sense of justice and honor. There were individuals who stood up for right and wrong and at times a group conscience aligned for a just cause.

This was not always for a noble cause but for the self interest of their collective community. They banded together to confront common enemies like small pocks, encroaching government and Randolph Hearst.

Watching animals interact, children during unsupervised play and the dynamics of small business all give me an understanding that is hard to discover in books.

Deadwood is worth a watch but keep community in mind.

three hundred twenty six

WHATEVER HAPPENED 

TO THE GOAL OF

    The ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.

 I grew up in rural Ohio with an understanding that we should be  tolerant toward those who are not like us. It was a community standard even though there were a few narrow minded exceptions. I worked beside people that agreed on very little, had nothing in common other than work and at times did not like each other but we learned to tolerate our differences and achieve our common goals. I thought that was the point, live and let live.

Years later I moved to the city known for it's tolerance, San Francisco. Unfortunately I soon learned the summer of love has been dead and gone for a very long time.

Don't get me wrong I met many wonderful people in my seven years in the city. I did also meet many who brag about being the most tolerant people in America but made a sport out of not tolerating anyone who disagreed with them. 

I heard more hatred for people in different parts of the country for how they looked, acted and thought. Ironically most of them had never lived or even visited these places. If they had they were usually slighted by a rude waitress or got a hand signal from a jerk driver. Whatever it was it was enough to label entire regions of the country as bigots and haters to justify their victimhood. Many times it was based only on a television sitcom or a Netflix movie.

As one of those rubes I think most of us caught on to this tolerance thing long ago. Live and let live is pretty straight forward. If you dress, talk and act weird for attention you will get attention. If you are a few pages ahead on the latest woke fad or list of politically correct words don't judge others for not sharing your priorities.

Yes if you look and talk differently we will do a double take. If you are rude and condescending we will react to you like anyone who is rude and condescending. If your whole identity is based around your sexual practices don't be confused if we react with a puzzled look because your sexual practices are none of our business.

The goal post has now been moved from tolerance to total acceptance. This is where we run into trouble because this seems to only go one way. 

If a person has different values, beliefs or opinions he can be judged as a  hater, bigot, racist, denier or fill in the blank "......phobe". I do not expect the San Francisco crowd to totally accept mid-western opinions and beliefs, but I do expect them to tolerate them. None of their opinions and beliefs need to change and they should not keep them to  themselves. I will tolerate their speech and vigorously defend their right to voice it.

I welcome debate about anything, but I won't be forced to agree. I am by no means a victim. There are people who hate me for how I look, talk and think, that is as the Dude says "Like that is your opinion man".

Those things we learned in kindergarten my stuff and your stuff, keep your hands to yourself and say please and thank you. This community thing is made up of many different kinds of people, division is easy but tolerance is how it works. 

Waiting for everyone to totally accept each other's differences is unrealistic utopian bull shit, it isn't going to happen. People have different opinions, beliefs and lifestyles, that is how this America thing works. 

The utopian dream has been attempted through history but it is always at the point of a gun, sword or spear. Humans are unique individuals we are not bees living in a collective directed by a queen. Peace is as close as it can get without somebody losing their rights. 

Hundreds of millions have lost their lives in attempts to achieve the myth of utopia. It is always the beginning sales pitch for achieving power over the masses. Perhaps we are again treading on dangerous territory. I think we should just stick with the goal of learning to tolerate each other and live together in peace.

three hundred twenty five

 Not me, he has too much hair.....

I found this picture years ago on the internet. I have no idea who he is or the context but this picture has captured my imagination. Is it a Vespa scooter speed record attempt using nudity as an aerodynamic advantage, a new tanning method combining wind burn and sun bathing or just a weird Burning Man art project? I think it is just a good old fashioned "hold my beer and watch this" moment. 

I have had many of those moments in my life. Some were successful but a lot of them ended badly. I have scars and broken bones to prove my impulsive behavior. As a young man most of these were fueled by Rolling Rock beer, Boon's Farm apple wine, Dickel sour mash whiskey or that stinky ditch weed from the 70's.

I have had impulse problems my whole life. If they said don't touch the hot stove I touched all four burners and the neighbors stove too. I jumped off  bridges, climbed buildings and hung one handed from the rafters during a high school basket ball game. Many were on a dare, some were to show off but a lot of them I did alone without witnesses.

My driving was like a deadly video game and adrenaline was a daily drug. Somehow I survived my youth with only a few near death injuries. I slowed down on the daredevil stuff and moved to obnoxious behavior. 

Fighting was different back then, there was a code of sorts. You got a buzz, did or said something stupid, another drunk was more then happy to go out back. It was always one on one and you fought until someone got a couple good hits. 

It usually ended quickly but sometimes there was only trash talk. I was not a talker I usually started right in. Don't think I was a good fighter I was usually the one with a fat lip and a bloody nose. My only fighting accomplishment was I learned to take a punch. It wasn't unusual to end the night as sentimental drunk friends. 

There may have been hard feelings but nobody was pulling a weapon or driving by your house to shoot holes in your front door. The point was just a bunch of guys trying to stay awake in a small town.

Usually fueled by alcohol we raced and wrecked cars, climbed and jumped off land marks, shot holes in things, blew stuff up and pulled some pretty legendary pranks. Any dare was answered and injures were mocked. I see the skate boarders today I relate and admire them.

Over the years I have adopted the Dirty Harry code, "A man must know his limitations". In the face of a dare, "Do you feel lucky punk" also goes through my mind. The odds are stacked against me after 71 years of cheating death so I don't do the real crazy stuff anymore. I do ride a motor cycle and plan to take another cross country bicycle ride. That sounds foolhardy to most but I refuse to stop living life to the fullest. 

I think eliminating alcohol has been the thing that has saved me from an early demise. If I hadn't crashed and burned I would have eventually pissed off the wrong person. 

The point of this post is not to recommend my past or even my present lifestyle. The point is to live life and say yes to opportunities when the door opens. Life is worth living at full volume. See things, hear things, love with all of your body, mind and soul. Love and live without a net but wear a helmet.

three hundred twenty four

 One of the remaining truth seeking journalists.

SHARYL ATTKISSON

Sharyl was an award winning CBS investigative reporter and news anchor for years until she asked the wrong people the wrong questions. She was known for her straight forward investigative reporting.  She was no stranger to asking probing questions of the powerful regardless of position or political party. 

She uncovered government scandals, revealed unfair big business practices and dug deep into issues the main stream press had only lightly covered, they splashed a few headlines then moved on. She kept digging into these stories to wherever the facts led. She wanted to find "the story" not just "a story". As a young reporter she was schooled by the older generation of reporters who viewed journalism as a sacred trust.  

A few decades ago this was the expected standard of the majority of the media. Unfortunately over the years these standards have deteriorated. Young journalists took on the roll of news makers not reporters. Many got into the news business to "make a difference". Their  goal is to push a narrative, be part of the story and not hide their feelings and bias.

The media is now owned by corporations and powerful individuals, they use the media to gain profit, ratings and power. It was a natural process for journalists to seek success by pleasing their bosses by abandoning the old standards. Ratings and commercial profits were added to "If it bleeds it leads". Actual in-depth accurate double sourced journalism was all but abandoned. 

Shayrl did not change so eventually she was demonized. She investigated stories equally and only used sourced material. This was fine if her reporting hurt or helped the correct people or party, but when the story fell the wrong way she faced resistance from her editors.

She resigned after years of being continually blocked by her editors for reporting on stories like "Fast and Furious" a gun running scandal, Benghazi and green energy scandals like Sol-Indra. She has consistently covered Republican scandals with the same dog with a bone intensity. In fact she was given awards for these stories.

Sharyl is the real deal as far as I am concerned. She represents what journalism should be. She now covers stories the other media ignores. Her stories are well researched and unbiased with a let the chips fall where they may style. 

Working as a network news anchor is a prestigious and lucrative gig many have sold their souls to remain in these positions of power. Sharyl walked away from millions to keep her credibility and integrity. 

As a result of this she is called a political hack, irrelevant and a liar but for the most part she is ignored. Her books raise many questions about the powerful abusing the investigative tools of government to spy on journalists and private citizens. Her books are rarely promoted or reviewed. In spite of this they are still best sellers.

She has two podcasts and publishes her stories on Just the News and a few other publications. She does not chase the latest headline, instead she digs deep into stories and stays on them. She presents all sides of a story so you sometimes like her reporting and at times you do not. This is the sign of good reporting.

Link.... https//ShayrlAttkisson.com

I get bored with hacks no matter which party. I agree with a few but I don't agree with anyone all of the time.  Only listening to what my itching ears want to hear is fun but foolish if I say I want to know the truth. That is the first and most important question, Do I want to know the truth? Be prepared the truth isn't always what you want to hear.

three hundred twenty three

 

"THE BUCK STOPS HERE".....what a load of crap.

I'm really an expert at creating elaborate believable excuses. I have for many years perfected my skills to create complex, dramatic and convincing excuses. I'm so good at this I have at times convinced myself. 

Fortunately I have been saved from a career in politics. I have an intact conscience that I occasionally listen to. The ability to look people in the eye and cast blame on everyone else while simultaneously claiming to be the only person of character who takes responsibility, this should be the definition of a sociopath. 

They say things like, The buck stops with me, but the opposing party did it. It's like a school boy saying, I know I had an assignment but the dog ate my homework. They look and sound respectful but they are rarely challenged by a lazy and fawning press. Instead we give them our money and votes then call them Congressman, Senator or President. Their only real talent is the art of blame and excuses. Elected officials are in a league all their own.

I'm just a garden variety sober drunk. In my active disease I used excuses to protect and hide my secrets. I sometimes think about the elaborate tails I told the people around me. This went on for decades until I had no idea what was true.

I have found it much easier just to do whatever it is I said I would do. Do what you say and say what you will do, what a simple concept. I know now people saw through me because my memory has never been good enough to keep my lies or excuses straight. 

One thing I have not done is claim the same relative has died two or three times, but I know I would have done it eventually.

 Sometimes there are reasons that we can't complete a task or make an appointment but I have been amazed how if I really give my full effort I can complete the vast majority of my tasks.

The principles of AA have had an influence on this behavior. My friends in the rooms are excuse experts too who will call me out for passing the buck or relying on excuses.

There was one special person in my life that early on set the standard for our friendship. It started by making a commitment then changing my mind. I didn't even waste an excuse on it I tried to sell it with my boyish charm. Needless to say it did not work.

I was shocked because what had always worked did not work on this person. I was told point blank if you say you will do something I expect you to do it. I cared enough about this person from that day forward I was committed to following through on what I said. Sounds simple and I'm sure someone had said it before, but the clarity and directness broke through and changed my life.

I hate others giving me excuses almost as much as I hate hearing myself give them. I would rather hear I accept responsibility and this is my plan so this will not happen again. That is what I like hearing but I only want to hear it once.