four hundred eighteen

Ecclesiastes 3:7 

When people want to argue. When political debates are happening. When you want to be noticed. When someone disrespects you. When you think you know more than others. When any additional words have no benefit. When you are representing the nation who's flag you wear, always remember.....

“There is a time to be silent and a time to speak"

More about Ecclesiastes 3:7 from the internet, not sure who to credit. 

To understand the true meaning and depth of Ecclesiastes 3:7 from the King James Version, we must first examine the surrounding verses and the context in which it was written. In Ecclesiastes 3, King Solomon explores the concept of time and the seasons of life, acknowledging that there is a time and purpose for every event under heaven. In verse 7, he specifically mentions a time to keep silence and a time to speak.

The verse reads: "A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak" Ecclesiastes 3:7. This verse is part of a larger passage in which Solomon presents a series of contrasting pairs, each indicating a specific time or season. This verse focuses on the idea of knowing when to be silent and when to speak.

The theme of this verse revolves around the balanced and intentional use of one's voice. It reflects the wisdom of discerning when it is appropriate to remain silent and when it is necessary to speak. This wisdom is essential for maintaining healthy relationships, resolving conflicts, and making sound decisions.

The idea of knowing when to keep silent and when to speak is a universal theme that transcends time and culture. It has practical implications in various aspects of life, including personal relationships, professional settings, and community interactions. The verse encourages individuals to cultivate self-control and discernment in their communication, avoiding unnecessary conflict and fostering understanding and harmony.

The context of Ecclesiastes 3:7 also invites us to consider the significance of timing in our actions and words. It suggests that there is a divine order to the events in our lives, and understanding this order can guide our behavior and communication. In this way, the verse prompts us to reflect on our own sense of timing and to seek wisdom in the way we express ourselves.

Furthermore, the symbolism in Ecclesiastes 3:7 is rich and profound. The imagery of "rending and sewing" evokes the idea of breaking and repairing, while "keeping silence and speaking" represents restraint and expression. These contrasting actions symbolize the ebb and flow of life, the cycles of creation and destruction, and the interplay between silence and speech in human interaction.

From a theological perspective, Ecclesiastes 3:7 aligns with the broader biblical teaching on the power of words and the importance of self-control. The book of Proverbs, for example, contains numerous verses that emphasize the impact of speech on relationships and the need for thoughtful communication. Ecclesiastes 3:7 reinforces these teachings by highlighting the discernment required to know when to speak and when to remain silent.

In conclusion, Ecclesiastes 3:7 from the King James Version offers timeless wisdom on the balanced use of our voices and the significance of timing in our actions and words. Its themes of discernment, self-control, and divine order carry relevance for individuals across cultures and generations. By understanding and applying the message of this verse, we can cultivate healthier relationships, promote understanding, and align our words and actions with God's wisdom.

I have wrestled with my loose tongue my whole life. In my youth these unwise outbursts were the source of many fist fights, trips to the principles office and after school detentions. Later in life over sharing simply to fill silence spurred by nervousness has after 74 years lessoned. Knowing when to speak and when to shut my mouth has finally been a blessing. Avoiding the measuring conversations or what some call one upping conversations was only a start. Now learning to listen is my next hurtle.

four hundred seventeen

 THE ART OF BEING A LONER

  THE PROS AND CONS OF BEING A LONER

I often hear about the negative emotional effects of being a loner. I think this is because there is a focus on the effects of loneliness and not the actual nature of a loner. I have been told many times I spend an unhealthy amount of  time alone so I have wrestled with this criticism for a very long time. 

Being lonely is an emotion everyone experiences and some experience this more then others. Some need to be surrounded by people every minute of the day but others find this suffocating and prefer being alone. The question is how much alone time is too much?

Let's be honest people are complicated, they take our energy. We must listen to them, see them, talk with them and consider their opinions, needs and feelings. In exchange they give us their energy by seeing us, listening to us,  talking with us and consider our opinions, needs and feelings.

Sounds simple but this simple transaction can be either nurturing and positive or an emotionally draining experience. Rarely do these interactions go as planned but navigating this emotional risk and reward game is the price of being a socially healthy human. 

The question I ask is how much human interaction do people really need or how much can they do without? I believe men and women have different needs. I won't waste your time attempting to explain a woman's needs but as a man I do know a little about men.

A loner personality is characterized by a preference for solitude, independence, and introspection, finding satisfaction in their own company and inner world rather than constant social interaction, though this varies from being an introvert (who recharges alone) to an intentional loner (who dislikes people) or an unintentional one (due to isolation), I have been all three.

Key traits include self-reliance, valuing personal experience over external validation, and a tendency to form independent opinions, often enjoying peace in silence and feeling overwhelmed by large crowds.  

To keep these in balance I attend men's AA meetings or what I call "forced socialization". Don't get me wrong I love and care about all of these men but even though there are times I find these meetings suffocating but I go anyway. Isolation is a common trait in these men and is a dangerous place for an alcoholic. So this is one place I hear about the downside of loneliness. I will admit afterward I am usually happy I went.

Defining what loneliness actually is is important. Some people have no sense or belief in a God or what some call a higher power. This limits their options to flesh and blood people or pets. Pets are awesome but pets are designed to love us unconditionally but they are not people. Pets help but it is not the same. 

Many use the word spirituality to avoid organized religion. They use nature, a force or energy as a companion but in my opinion there is still something missing. 

The God of my understanding is Jesus, this is very common in the rooms of AA but not to offend others we use the generic term "Higher Power". 

On April 1, 1980 I was baptized and according to the scriptures I received the Holy Spirit. Jesus told his disciples he would send his Spirit that is exactly like him to live with and in us. I only had a "mustard seed" faith that this was true.

I did not speak in tongues, see a burning bush or a flash of light, I just did what Peter said. 

Acts 2:38 "Peter replied, 'Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit'" 

All I know is from that moment on I have never been alone. 

The thought of God's Spirit living inside me has always been a mystery as it should be. Jesus is not my spiritual buddy or score keeping hall monitor he is my mentor, teacher and honest friend. He loves me, is honest with me and expects me to do my best. 

Shamefully I have abused this relationship by choosing to drink for many years but he never abandoned me, he waited patiently until I turned back to him. This is the proof I needed to really know he is here living inside of me. 

Today the loner thing is not to hide from the world, it is to travel through this world doing his will. No I'm not a preacher or evangelist I just share the good news when ever it fits. 

Some plant seeds, some water them and some harvest. I have never been burdened by having to see proof of my efforts. I talk to people in my travels and do not hide the Spirit that lives in me. I figure if God is changing me I should not hide it. 

People see me warts and all but they also see God working in my life. If they ask I tell them about it. God's will is simply drawing people closer to God and not pushing them away.

I have ridden a bicycle 14000 miles alone and have back packed into the most remote deserts for days on end simply because I love the solitude. Some people can't imagine being alone hundreds or thousands of miles away from home with only their wits and a bicycle but truthfully I am never really alone. 

There have been long conversations with God that last for hours and sometimes days, people would think I was crazy if they heard me. Now that I write this I really can't call myself a loner, perhaps I have answered my own age old question. 

I do need people in my life but I also need God. If I have no God in my life all I have is people. I know there is probably a proper balance but it may simply be another one of those freewill choices God gives us.

I have an urge to wander alone but many people think it is foolish, unsafe or crazy. I have a passion or curiosity to see what is over the next hill and around the next corner. At seventy four this passion has never been fully satisfied. 

I may be away from people but in this solitude I grow closer and closer to my God who lives in my heart.