four hundred eighteen

Ecclesiastes 1:9 states, "What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun" (NIV).

Lately I have been obsessed with the Pyramids, ruins of ancient civilizations, aliens, alien technology, Nazi and our own government's obsession with the occult, mythology and ancient religious artifacts. I have read books about Area 51, DARPA, MK Ultra, secret bases, remote viewing, the Matrix, time travel, hypnosis and everything paranormal. 

I understand how you can get overwhelmed and confused by all of this. The secrecy of governments, conspiracy pimps and scholars educated far beyond their intelligence raise many questions. Some of these smart people are convinced their theories prove the God of the Bible is a myth to entertain small minded naive people. They do this to a point of ridicule and make any belief in God a punch line to a late night talk show joke.  

There are countless alternative theories about man's origin and plenty of ancient writings, legends and myths. They are as numerous as  weight loss and erectile disfunction cures.

My favorite "deep question" is the Bible shows no proof of how he does things. Perhaps God doesn't see a need to tell us how he does them. He simply tells us what he did and what he will do. 

Years ago I taught Sunday school to middle schoolers. I could not just teach about old guys in robes and sandals, I had to make it interesting to bored teenagers. I'm a big science fiction fan especially Star Trek and anything to do with time travel or dimensions, so I view the Bible through a science fiction lens.

I personally love Ecclesiastes because of the logic and bluntness. It is an acquired taste because it can be dark and depressing. It asks the haunting questions we are not willing to ask but think about more than we will admit. The phrase everything is meaningless would not make a good Ted Talk title.

This post I want to focus on the phrase "there is nothing new under the sun." I was born in 1951 and have lived through one of the most technological booms in history. Note I said "one of......". I do not believe this was the first time we have had the ability to fly, navigate the sea both on it or under it, built cities, used electricity and more. 

By more I mean split the atom, computers, AI, space travel and technology we have not yet imagined. Perhaps they traveled to other planets, time traveled, explored other dimensions and cured all illness. Solomon just said "There is nothing new under the sun", I take what he said literally.

Every politician, scientist and scam artist  brags about how everything they do is the first time and unprecedented. Humans have short memories and usually believe them because the world is changing faster and faster. 

I want to take a moment to stop and think about this phrase. Yes there are many things we can't understand, I will admit this fact about myself. However there are countless historians, scientists, physicists and theologians who will not even consider this statement because it is from the Bible.

Their attempts to put all of the mystery pieces together to fit their narrative is humorous. I'm not saying I know what happened before I just know we aren't the first to know these things. I also assume we only know a fraction of what has been before.

My faith is not based on whether God exists, my faith is based on what he says. I trust that his ways are beyond my understanding.  Some may call it blind faith but I call it trust. I have no idea how God does what he does, it is far beyond my pay grade. 

I do enjoy hearing the smart people explain how God does things especially when they point out his missteps. I have enough to do taking care of the small world around me. Operating the universe is God's job, loving my neighbor and returning my shopping cart are mine.

I begin my day with a prayer of thanks and a recognition of who is in charge then I enjoy my coffee and ponder the sunrise. At night I say thank you and look at the stars and ponder his words ".. and He made the stars also". (Genesis1:16)  

Ecclesiastes is a book filled with unanswerable and frustrating questions. There is no explanation as to why or how he does things. All I know God is God and we are his creation, it is that simple and I'm good with that.

You can search every rabbit hole to find what is true. Many have earnestly tried to disprove God but have found him. My journey was and still is filled with questions because I know the truth of God will hold up to scrutiny.

I have many years of knowing his faithfulness. My shameful proof is the years I squandered ignoring him and disobeying him after I entered into a covenant with him. I finally came back broken and he did not abandoned me, in fact he changed my life, that is how I know. 

This proof is as real as any discovered scroll or manuscript, it is something I have experienced personally. You may want to begin your own search through the maze of information or find a quiet place, open your mind and heart and be willing to listen, God will find you. 

four hundred eighteen

Ecclesiastes 3:7 

When people want to argue. When political debates are happening. When you want to be noticed. When someone disrespects you. When you think you know more than others. When any additional words have no benefit. When you are representing the nation who's flag you wear, always remember.....

“There is a time to be silent and a time to speak"

More about Ecclesiastes 3:7 from the internet, not sure who to credit. 

To understand the true meaning and depth of Ecclesiastes 3:7 from the King James Version, we must first examine the surrounding verses and the context in which it was written. In Ecclesiastes 3, King Solomon explores the concept of time and the seasons of life, acknowledging that there is a time and purpose for every event under heaven. In verse 7, he specifically mentions a time to keep silence and a time to speak.

The verse reads: "A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak" Ecclesiastes 3:7. This verse is part of a larger passage in which Solomon presents a series of contrasting pairs, each indicating a specific time or season. This verse focuses on the idea of knowing when to be silent and when to speak.

The theme of this verse revolves around the balanced and intentional use of one's voice. It reflects the wisdom of discerning when it is appropriate to remain silent and when it is necessary to speak. This wisdom is essential for maintaining healthy relationships, resolving conflicts, and making sound decisions.

The idea of knowing when to keep silent and when to speak is a universal theme that transcends time and culture. It has practical implications in various aspects of life, including personal relationships, professional settings, and community interactions. The verse encourages individuals to cultivate self-control and discernment in their communication, avoiding unnecessary conflict and fostering understanding and harmony.

The context of Ecclesiastes 3:7 also invites us to consider the significance of timing in our actions and words. It suggests that there is a divine order to the events in our lives, and understanding this order can guide our behavior and communication. In this way, the verse prompts us to reflect on our own sense of timing and to seek wisdom in the way we express ourselves.

Furthermore, the symbolism in Ecclesiastes 3:7 is rich and profound. The imagery of "rending and sewing" evokes the idea of breaking and repairing, while "keeping silence and speaking" represents restraint and expression. These contrasting actions symbolize the ebb and flow of life, the cycles of creation and destruction, and the interplay between silence and speech in human interaction.

From a theological perspective, Ecclesiastes 3:7 aligns with the broader biblical teaching on the power of words and the importance of self-control. The book of Proverbs, for example, contains numerous verses that emphasize the impact of speech on relationships and the need for thoughtful communication. Ecclesiastes 3:7 reinforces these teachings by highlighting the discernment required to know when to speak and when to remain silent.

In conclusion, Ecclesiastes 3:7 from the King James Version offers timeless wisdom on the balanced use of our voices and the significance of timing in our actions and words. Its themes of discernment, self-control, and divine order carry relevance for individuals across cultures and generations. By understanding and applying the message of this verse, we can cultivate healthier relationships, promote understanding, and align our words and actions with God's wisdom.

I have wrestled with my loose tongue my whole life. In my youth these unwise outbursts were the source of many fist fights, trips to the principles office and after school detentions. Later in life over sharing simply to fill silence spurred by nervousness has after 74 years lessoned. Knowing when to speak and when to shut my mouth has finally been a blessing. Avoiding the measuring conversations or what some call one upping conversations was only a start. Now learning to listen is my next hurtle.

four hundred seventeen

 THE ART OF BEING A LONER

  THE PROS AND CONS OF BEING A LONER

I often hear about the negative emotional effects of being a loner. I think this is because there is a focus on the effects of loneliness and not the actual nature of a loner. I have been told many times I spend an unhealthy amount of  time alone so I have wrestled with this criticism for a very long time. 

Being lonely is an emotion everyone experiences and some experience this more then others. Some need to be surrounded by people every minute of the day but others find this suffocating and prefer being alone. The question is how much alone time is too much?

Let's be honest people are complicated, they take our energy. We must listen to them, see them, talk with them and consider their opinions, needs and feelings. In exchange they give us their energy by seeing us, listening to us,  talking with us and consider our opinions, needs and feelings.

Sounds simple but this simple transaction can be either nurturing and positive or an emotionally draining experience. Rarely do these interactions go as planned but navigating this emotional risk and reward game is the price of being a socially healthy human. 

The question I ask is how much human interaction do people really need or how much can they do without? I believe men and women have different needs. I won't waste your time attempting to explain a woman's needs but as a man I do know a little about men.

A loner personality is characterized by a preference for solitude, independence, and introspection, finding satisfaction in their own company and inner world rather than constant social interaction, though this varies from being an introvert (who recharges alone) to an intentional loner (who dislikes people) or an unintentional one (due to isolation), I have been all three.

Key traits include self-reliance, valuing personal experience over external validation, and a tendency to form independent opinions, often enjoying peace in silence and feeling overwhelmed by large crowds.  

To keep these in balance I attend men's AA meetings or what I call "forced socialization". Don't get me wrong I love and care about all of these men but even though there are times I find these meetings suffocating but I go anyway. Isolation is a common trait in these men and is a dangerous place for an alcoholic. So this is one place I hear about the downside of loneliness. I will admit afterward I am usually happy I went.

Defining what loneliness actually is is important. Some people have no sense or belief in a God or what some call a higher power. This limits their options to flesh and blood people or pets. Pets are awesome but pets are designed to love us unconditionally but they are not people. Pets help but it is not the same. 

Many use the word spirituality to avoid organized religion. They use nature, a force or energy as a companion but in my opinion there is still something missing. 

The God of my understanding is Jesus, this is very common in the rooms of AA but not to offend others we use the generic term "Higher Power". 

On April 1, 1980 I was baptized and according to the scriptures I received the Holy Spirit. Jesus told his disciples he would send his Spirit that is exactly like him to live with and in us. I only had a "mustard seed" faith that this was true.

I did not speak in tongues, see a burning bush or a flash of light, I just did what Peter said. 

Acts 2:38 "Peter replied, 'Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit'" 

All I know is from that moment on I have never been alone. 

The thought of God's Spirit living inside me has always been a mystery as it should be. Jesus is not my spiritual buddy or score keeping hall monitor he is my mentor, teacher and honest friend. He loves me, is honest with me and expects me to do my best. 

Shamefully I have abused this relationship by choosing to drink for many years but he never abandoned me, he waited patiently until I turned back to him. This is the proof I needed to really know he is here living inside of me. 

Today the loner thing is not to hide from the world, it is to travel through this world doing his will. No I'm not a preacher or evangelist I just share the good news when ever it fits. 

Some plant seeds, some water them and some harvest. I have never been burdened by having to see proof of my efforts. I talk to people in my travels and do not hide the Spirit that lives in me. I figure if God is changing me I should not hide it. 

People see me warts and all but they also see God working in my life. If they ask I tell them about it. God's will is simply drawing people closer to God and not pushing them away.

I have ridden a bicycle 14000 miles alone and have back packed into the most remote deserts for days on end simply because I love the solitude. Some people can't imagine being alone hundreds or thousands of miles away from home with only their wits and a bicycle but truthfully I am never really alone. 

There have been long conversations with God that last for hours and sometimes days, people would think I was crazy if they heard me. Now that I write this I really can't call myself a loner, perhaps I have answered my own age old question. 

I do need people in my life but I also need God. If I have no God in my life all I have is people. I know there is probably a proper balance but it may simply be another one of those freewill choices God gives us.

I have an urge to wander alone but many people think it is foolish, unsafe or crazy. I have a passion or curiosity to see what is over the next hill and around the next corner. At seventy four this passion has never been fully satisfied. 

I may be away from people but in this solitude I grow closer and closer to my God who lives in my heart.

four hundred sixteen

8:07 AM  SATURDAY, JANUARY 13, 2018

EMERGENCY ALERT    

I was working Saturday morning. I started around 4:30 AM. I had already made some decent money shuttling Japanese tourists to catch a 6 AM direct flight to Tokyo. Now I was catching a few local fares and a few airport runs. 

I got a $40 airport run and as I was settling the fare I got another text from dispatch. It was a familiar run a young local who worked at one of the older hotels. 

As I was about to depart my phone displayed an emergency alert.

North Korea had been lobbing a few missiles over Japan for several months. He didn't seem to have the aiming thing working yet so my first thought was if a missile was fired it was only in our general direction, it's a very large ocean.

My other thought was it was a political game, remember who was president at the time. Negative was the news of the day, every day. I had learned to discount most of it as spin but this was from an official government agency, they would never lie would they?

Three thoughts went through my mind. Kim Jung Un has trouble hitting the Pacific ocean. It seemed too coincidental because it fit the news narrative and if it is true we are on an island where would we go?

I put my cab in drive and pulled away from the curb and  headed to my next fare. 

As I pulled away I saw people running, where to I have no idea. Others stared at their phones in confusion. As I drove I dialed my wife but no answer she must be away from her phone or napping.

I reached my destination and the young man was waiting and staring at his phone. He jumped in the back. I asked if he knew about the alert and he laughed. I laughed and asked if he still wanted to go to work?  He then said, "Oh do you think this is real?" I said, "not really."He then said, " I'm good."

As we drove we were noticing the stressed out drivers and frantic tourists.

The conversation was mostly humor but not the walking past the graveyard humor. It was the relaxed kind. 

He then said something profound, "It doesn't look like these people are ready." I asked, "Oh are you religious?" He said "No I'm a Christian." He didn't have to explain, I knew what he meant, I'm a Christian too. 

It seemed even at his young age he was sure where he stood with his Creator. I have the facts and information about where I stand with God but not always the feeling to go with it. This young man had a comfort I admired. I dropped him off and looked at my phone, it was a false alarm.

The day went on, the news did their usual spin and finger pointing. The denials, blaming and predictable "sources say" journalism went on as usual. 

I finally got through to my wife she missed the whole thing. 

I finished my shift around 5:30 PM most of the conversation was about the alert. The conversation that stuck in my head was that calm young man, he had something I wanted.

In the midst of a potential ballistic missile attack I was working the odds. I put my trust in the dishonesty of the media, the corruption and incompetence of government and the blustering incompetence of a tin pot dictator. 

The young man was putting his trust in God, not to be protected by Him but welcomed home by Him. That is the trust I want when this life ends for me. Funny how a little thing like a ballistic missile attack makes you think.

four hundred fifteen

IT BEGINS

I'm a 1950's "Boomer", our parents thought it was cute and harmless back then to let us take a sip of their beer or wine. A sip here and there wouldn't hurt and for the majority of kids this was true. But for a small group of us it was only the beginning of a long journey. 

I'm not saying it caused anything but somehow many years later it became part of our qualifying share at an AA meeting. 

My point isn't that these occasional sips caused our alcoholism, alcohol was going to find us or we were going to find it one way or another.  

It's an age old question like, what came first the chicken or the egg? Is sexual preference hard wired or a choice? Am I fat because of genes or do I just love food? Was I born an alcoholic or did I drink too much? 

For me the question of alcohol can be answered easily. I was a guy who drank and many times drank too much but I wasn't an alcoholic until I caught it at an AA meeting. 

This didn't happen at the first meeting I was only exposed, it had to incubate. It took a few more meetings to learn enough to diagnose myself even though it was obvious to everyone else in the room. The danger is getting exposed just enough to be vaccinated against catching the real thing. I was fortunate I got the full disease.

The first step was to admit I was powerless over alcohol and my life was unmanageable. No one could help me do this. They could tell me their story and teach me what each word and punctuation meant but I had to figure this one out on my own. 

For some it is a quick surrender but for others it is a real wrestling match. Fortunately I was half way there because I was pretty beat up and tired of the fight.

As I read the Big Book Of Alcoholics Anonymous the "Doctors Opinion" threw me a bone. I discovered it wasn't my fault I was the victim of a disease! I then made the mistake of bringing this up at my home group. 

One of my early mentors was grumpy Jim. He quickly pointed out with his AA logic "If you shit your pants because you ate bad food or it was just poor planning on your part, you still need to change your pants." I miss Jim and his blunt wisdom.

When did it start? What caused it? Who's fault was it? Was I born this way? All are valid questions but none of them really matter except one, what am I going to do about it? 

After that first step surrender and accepting Jim's wisdom I began the journey in earnest and haven't looked back. Blaming my past whether it is bad genes, bad people, tragic events, unfair circumstances or my own behavior will only  take me off of the path. 

I can sit in shit and ponder why, or I can change my pants.

four hundred fourteen

 Aegean Sea

A few years ago we visited nine Greek islands on a small cruise ship. The Aegean Sea was amazing. This was a typical sunset.

four hundred thirteen

EVEN ELMO'S WORLD SUCKS SOMETIMES

I know this is dark humor but I doubt I have any toddler readers. 

Elmo was a Muppet character on the children's television show Sesame Street. A furry red monster who spoke in a high-pitched falsetto voice and frequently referred to himself in the third person, he hosted the last full 15-minute segment on Sesame Street, "Elmo's World", which was aimed at toddlers.

I stumbled on this picture years ago. It is such an interesting contrast, a loved by countless children super star meets a tragic ending. If he were an actor or rock star it would be tragic but not unexpected. 

The pressures of his grueling schedule only to be kept in a box in between shows must have finally got to him. Not to mention the humiliating and degrading way he was forced to perform. 

No one heard his cry for help but always speaking in third person should have raised concerns. The irony is Elmo will not be missed because they made a dozen of him just incase one got lost, damaged  or stolen. This was Elmo's third unreported suicide.

Okay I got that out of my system... 

four hundred twelve

 

WOMEN WOULD BE AMAZED AT WHAT MEN TALK ABOUT WHEN THEY ARE ALONE.

I love men's groups, I attend three men's AA meetings per week. I do this for a couple of reasons. One is, I'm a man with testosterone coursing through my veins. Meetings can have twenty men and only one woman and every man in the room is distracted. 

I don't know if it is invisible pheromones that unconsciously effect us, our male nature to find a suitable mate or men are just competitive by nature. 

I don't think most women understand their power. However some do and willfully participate in this distraction. Either way I want a clear focused mind when I am around a group of men.

I have heard from women that all men talk about is how women are the problem. They encourage each other to control their women and give pointers on how to do it. 

Certainly there are men an groups of men that talk this trash but no real man actually believes this. There maybe jokes and bragging but these conversations are quickly dismissed.

If a man criticizes a woman it is usually out of confusion because to a man women are very confusing. This is the spice that makes this whole thing work. If men and women were alike we would be nesting all of the time or having sex all of the time. These differences give us frustration but they also give us balance.

The truth is most men feel inadequate. We don't feel like good husbands, good fathers, good friends or good men. We live in a world of posturing. We must be strong and confident so we act strong and confident. Most of us pull this off and live a life behind what we present to the world.

Men have rare opportunities like men's AA meetings to be honest about what is behind their mask. Opening up at these meetings takes time. A new person usually sits in amazement at what they hear. As men get more honest and trusting the truth comes out. Sometimes in tears but mostly in relief. These long kept secrets are welcomed by the group.

There is no judgment or criticism only words of encouragement and hugs. I'm not big on the hug thing but I'm coming around.

Stories of past mistakes, broken relationships with brothers, sisters and children are common. Loss of friends, parents, spouses and dogs bring tears to the room. These men are not showing weakness but strength.

Meetings always start with playful banter and teasing and end with playful banter and teasing. Between these these men have an hour of brutal honesty and truth. At times these are not easy truths they are straight foreword and blunt but men seem to respond to this, I know it works for me.

After years of this my secrets are less and less. What was shameful years ago are things I can now share freely. This helps other men let down their guard and be honest about their fears and short comings. 

Women communicate differently I make no claim to know what an all woman meeting is like. Mixed meetings are fine, I have learned a great deal from sober women. The magic that happens at men's meeting does not happen in other men's social meetings. 

Sports talk seems so empty now I want to talk about something real. As a man I have been fortunate to find this rare and special place. I'm sure this happens in other places and I know it happens one on one but a group of twenty or thirty men being honest and open is nothing short of a miracle.

four hundred eleven

I was born in 1951, we still had World War 1 veterans living in abandoned trolly cars much older than these. They were from a trolly system that we would today call light rail. They went through the city and to a few neighboring towns. You can still see remnants of the rail bed. 

Cars and busses became more common so they were abandoned in a yard in an industrial area by the main railroad tracks.

WW1 ended in 1918 so these men were 55 to 65 years old. I don't know the detailed history and don't personally know any of the men, this is just my experience as a young boy.

These men were a mystery to most people I think my father knew or at least talked with them. To a kid they looked scary. They were gas victims mostly according to my dad. They used mustard, chlorine and nerve gas in trench warfare, it was so horrible it was outlawed after the war as part of the Geneva Conventions.

I have never understood the purpose of this war and from what I have read most historians are confused too, but they sound real smart. One thing I do know all through history almost all nations treat their war veterans like crap.

I don't know why these men lived in these abandoned trolly cars but the city people respected them. 

These men were really messed up a couple had missing limbs and some had their nervous systems ruined. On the hottest days of summer one soldier would be dressed like it was sub zero weather. 

When we shopped for groceries my mother bought an extra something, a can of beans or salmon, a loaf of bread or coffee.  On the way home we would stop the car and one of us would leave it on the step out front.

A friend of mine's dad was a milk man. They delivered bottled milk house to house back then. On Saturday I would ride with them. I remember his dad stopping to drop off milk and cigarettes, then talk with one of them a few minutes. 

I never thought much about it back then it was no big deal it was just something people did.

Occasionally you may see a man my dad's age talking with one of the soldiers but they were mostly antisocial. 

I never thought much about it but the community supplied everything these men needed. One day as we were driving by I saw my doctor leaving with his black bag. In those days doctors did house calls so I knew what it was. 

As I grew older I discovered cars and girls so I didn't think much about those men. I assume the help and respect continued without fan fair. 

I do remember every parade had the local VFW carrying the flags. They would march in uniform with their prominent beer bellies and one WW1 Veteran  would march in uniform with them. People stood and men took their hats off back then.

It may have been what small towns did back then but I believe it still goes on in large and small towns and like always it is done in secret. 

There are bad people but there are far more good people. They do acts of kindness without recognition just because it is the right thing to do. 

four hundred ten

Every news cycle there are countless references to our rights, independence, sovereignty, freedoms and democracy. Unfortunately these have been weaponized, freedom of speech depends on who is speaking and our rights have morphed into cradle to grave entitlements. 

Politicians claim our human rights to free housing,  free utilities, free health care, free food, free clothing, free transportation and free entertainment but never mention accountability. 

Claiming and expanding freedoms without responsibility or accountability is now the norm. Any mention of these will brand you an uncaring privileged racist and every kind of  _____phobe (fill in the blank).

These attitudes are not new they have always been used to sway voters and gain power. Please don't assume my politics, no party has clean hands. Buying votes and corruption have been around from the beginning and will be as long as they still work.

Freewill has been given to every one of us along with accountability. No matter what some man or woman with a fancy title tells us or what they give us we are always accountable for our actions.

Governments that still have at least a little respect for their citizens must still convince them to give their consent or votes. Yes there is an effort to bypass this but so far we still have elections. 

John Adams said "Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other." 

The idea that our rights come from God is fundamental. Today we have heard our elected officials mock this idea. I have asked students that questions each year I heard more of them say our rights come from government. This I believe is by design.

The more people trust governments for rights, the more they become slaves to those governments. The rush to purge all religion from schools and government is obvious. "Organized religion" has been demonized for simply pointing out our rights come from God. Theocrats, bigots, racists, nationalists, exclusionist and worse are an immediate reaction to any mention of accountability. 

They say they can be moral, more generous and caring without God, but they set their own standards to measure these and are only accountable to themselves. 

Religious people look to God for standards and understand they are accountable to Him.

Marquis De Sade is an extreme example. His philosophy was, if there is no God I am only accountable to myself. I can use my freewill the way I choose without consequence. Hitler, Stallon, Mao and every mass murderer and serial killer used their freewill. 

Yes these are extremes but we must admit respect for human life has been shifting. Attitudes toward the homeless, mentally ill, the elderly and those not yet born have slowly been rationalized. If there is no standards or guard rails this is inevitable.

God gave us all freewill with just one string, accountability. Ironically those who deny him the most blame him for humans using their freewill to do horrible things. Imagine how it hurts Him to watch.

I can't think of anything more selfish then to take this gift so lightly. As a Christian I believe in the God of Abraham Isaac and Jacob and put my faith in the promises of Jesus Christ.

I believe in an all seeing all knowing God. I also believe God is love. I also believe I have a purpose beyond my own self interests. There is my will and God's will and I have the freedom to choose.

What is God's will? There are endless books written and a multitudes of opinions, I believe this:

1 Timothy 2:3

"This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and come to a knowledge of the truth. "

This may be over simplified but it works for me. Anything I do or say can be judged by this standard. Is it helping others become more interested in God or does it repel them? 

This doesn't require us to be preachers on the contrary others see God when we are at our worst sometimes. How we react to unfairness, grief and suffering. In our weakness God can be seen more clearly. Willingness and honesty are a powerful testimony.

I do come from a place of gratitude because God saved me first in 1980 from my sins then in 1990 from the clutches of alcohol. I received His Spirit then drank with Him and finally aligned myself with His will. I am forever grateful He was faithful to his word and did not abandon me.

Governments will do what they do and with enough people they can do great or horrible things. However every individual has a choice to do God's will or reject it and follow their own self interests. 

This flesh and blood life is limited. These suits we wear to stay in this dimension will eventually wear out and we will have to go. I believe there is something beyond this life. I have seen and felt God's mercy, love and faithfulness I know what He says is true. 

The draw to intellectualize everything can become a distraction from a simple truth there is a God and it isn't you or me. Use your freewill wisely.

four hundred nine

 

YOU CAN'T WIN IF YOU DON'T PLAY!

I grew up in Ohio, we were one of the first states to have a state lottery. We had scratch tickets the daily three and four digit numbers plus plenty of illegal gambling. Youngstown had plenty of gambling because it was known as a "mob town", the 50's and 60's were particularly violent. 

In the early 70's a state lottery was proposed. At first it was resisted but soon I personally think the mob found a way to share in the joy of giving, after all it was for the children. 

As it was fast tracked through the legislature. I remember television ads displaying children receiving needed funds to improve their education. Every one seemed to be on board because the opposition was silenced or ridiculed, sound familiar? 

Soon the daily numbers, scratch tickets and more and more games appeared. The weekly numbers were a feature on television. The winners were paraded on television receiving giant checks. Mullets must bring good luck, go Terry.

I remember discussions in the work break room about what the first thing they would do if they won. Must revealed their plan to tender their resignation with a colorful speech. Others a new house, car, boat, trip around the world or all of the above.

If there was a particularly large pot there was usually an effort to increase the odds by pooling money. If all seventy five employees bought in it would increase the odds by .0001%.  

The conversations about how they would spend the money became more and more charitable. They would help the poor, save the puppies and purchase world peace. I guess God listens and picks the most virtuous person to win. The truth is if you are a poor asshole you will probably be a rich asshole. Money only magnifies who you are.

Lottery winners rarely fair well, even the people who really needed the money end up broke in three years. 

I noticed how people changed how they viewed the lottery particularly the poor communities. It wasn't "if" they win it became "when" they win, it became a retirement plan. 

I have gambled in the past but betting on my skill with a pool stick is different then betting on random numbers. I don't do either anymore.

The point of this post is the opposite, you can't lose if you don't play. Unfortunately I lived by that philosophy. Competitive team sports interested me but after a few losses I quit trying. I then played safe and never lost, but I never won either. I turned inward and lived in the background. 

I acted like I didn't care about winning but the truth is I was afraid of losing. I admire the risk takers and still do but I chose to become the crazy loaner. 

I drove crazier and would do anything on a dare. It wasn't for attention in fact the craziest things I did I dared myself and no one ever knew about it. I had a few guys I hung out with but they were crazy loners too. We weren't afraid of anything except losing. Every weekend was a new near death experience to fuel our need for adrenaline.

We had no interest in being popular or winning awards. Of the maybe five guys I did crazy with no one had more then one picture in the High School year book, no sports team, clubs or musical groups. I know one snuck "the bird" past the editors.

I did certainly have fun, I liked being a smart ass that got me into fights but I wasn't good I usually got my butt kicked. However I was hard to beat because I always had the last laugh. No I didn't win I laughed while I was fixing my broken nose. Fighting in those days was different it made you feel alive. 

I masked losing with an I don't care attitude. Looking back I could have made a better plan but I didn't have a mentor. 

Now at 74 I could have made better choices and done more winning but looking back I agree with Joe Walsh "Life's been good to me so far".

I love watching championship playoffs, not so much for the game but the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. I watch the celebration and the pain of defeat and admire all of it. All I know is risking public recognition or public shame takes balls.

I also admire bold risk takers, people with tattoos on their face, the guy who preaches Jesus saves while dragging around a giant cross and the guy who spends his retirement money restoring a muscle car. They all live bold and without apologies. They aren't waiting for a winning ticket to finally start living they just live life at "11" without a net!